Keep telling myself that whatever I do, it will not cause it to become the end of the world, so to keep my perspective in place and being able to make decisions for myself more confidently.

- One baby step at a time -

Don’t worry with what results it may turn out to be, trust that there’s always a valuable lesson to be learnt from it, whatever the outcome will be.

It had been one of the most asked question when it comes to relationships, however I was still fascinated by the multitude of answers it can generate and reflects one of the deepest core of belief.

“Given someone you are strongly attracted to but you are unsure of whether the relationship would last, and another whom you didn’t experience the euphoria but you feel secure and comfortable in sharing your life with that person: whom shall you choose?”

Currently I’m facing the greatest life lessons in life: one of the greatest challenge that I feared the most and find myself being the most unprepared. It’s not a challenge that I can describe in a few words as I’m unable to contain such multi-faceted situation in a certain box. What I really hope that I’m not getting into, now by necessity, becomes the most vital lessons that I have to learn now.

This pretty much opens a whole new, unknown world to me which I can no longer predict what the future holds: as my decision now will drive and mould what I’ll be from now on.

If I were to really pinpoint what the challenge was, it was getting over the fear of my very own expansion that …

不愿说出的心声，慢慢累积的成为了许许多多的问号。开始怀疑了，在心中里你那个影像中树立了一份犹如虚幻的寄托。心跳的频率不稳定的当时，一直试问着自己：这真的是爱吗？在仰慕，爱慕与被吸引的情绪中徘徊，是否只当你是朋友，会让心中的纠缠平复呢？

试探不到一个答案，那一份挫折感还不时地让自己有了放弃的念头。

其实，连自己也不晓得的是：自己想要的是你的守护，纯真的爱还是纯粹是你的人而已。

故事，依然重复着。

心中就因有了寄托，才更能够感到寂寞

It’s because there’s attachment, therefore you’ll notice your own loneliness even more.

It’s that time of the year again 😊 - reaching the magic number 25 (a quarter of a century) :p.

Anyway, no plans for today, so it’d be either very surprising (depends on what kind of plans that I or other people had in store) or very laid back (i.e. nothing happened). Anyway, I had already bought my own birthday present with an addition of a very unexpected splurge, but I personally don’t mind pampering myself today within my own means :).

My birthday wish? Well, I had already made up my mind on that one (and not telling :p). But overall I am continuing to look forward with the wonderful journeys that life will be offering in times to come: cherishing every single up and down that continues to mold myself as who …

Would anyone be interested to get a copy of Super Best Trance x Ultra-Z Trance? I accidentally double-dipped it in eBay :(.

Basically everything is in mint condition (no scratches with obi) and you can check the tracklist here (which is a non-stop mix album by DJ Kaya). It’s a promotional sample disc, though, if it’s of any concern to you.

I’m willing to sell it for US$5 and shipping cost will be US$7 to the US (registered airmail)… and probably less if you happen to live elsewhere :).

Let me know if anyone’s interested.

… Or perhaps letting me know where would be a good place to sell this would be of great help ^_^.

On the personal side of things:

Just received my shipment of CDs again: this time to …

Currently the main thing that has been pretty much bugging me at the moment is the issue of understanding and sorting out signals. Just personally find it pretty hard to differentiate such subtle matters, really: what it seemed may not be what it really meant. And there’s another noise factor as well: my own perceptions and emotions in relation to a particular situation.

Not really that I bothered about it most of the time really, but when it comes to something that I am attracted to, I personally find myself in a limbo of doubt and ecstasy. Withheld by past fears perhaps? Or I just need to be assured in order to really relax? But somehow without me taking the initiative to get concrete answers, that probably make things unnecessarily complicated… isn’t it …

While we are starting to reach towards the holiday season, a couple of work items seems to be creeping in to a point that requires haste. Not that I’m working in a company that was in a seasonal business, apparently it just happened that everything seemed to fall on the end of the year and quite honestly it seemed to show signs of either us being understaffed and probably some inefficiency as well.

So in a way, my brain was so focused on getting work done that I rarely had time to think anything else. Even during my spare time, I find games like Sudoku, Solitaire and Minesweeper extremely calming as I have my main processor (read: the brain) shielded off from distraction and focusing on solving things.

Not really sure how to describe …