It’s been quite some time that I felt very out of place,… at least that’s what I felt deep down. Not really sure whether is it the changes causes the turmoil, or that I’m being more sensitive and attuned to myself, or that I’m just imagining things.

Especially when it comes to my own health and body… it just felt… strange, in many way. There were times when I felt that the body wasn’t mine, or that I felt some weird and not-so-positive sensations at some part of the body (e.g. at one time I felt some sort of weight in my stomach).

At this point it’s like I’m still experimenting and adjusting my own lifestyle and thoughts. There’s still a lot of loose ends and …

around the world / move

[lyrics by motsu (move)]

※Trip to the world
Yo! here we go unknown world へと
生まれたばっかりの旅人
慣れない足どりもまた愛嬌 キメるとこだけバシッと!
So many people in this world
時に中傷とかもないわけじゃないけど
ツマンナイとこはWarpしてこう 筋だけは通し生きてる
That’s our low!

あてのないTrip
One way ticket to your soul, let’s go!
ブッ飛び続け見つけるYour goal
愛しあい時代に感じあい
さまざまなドラマつくってこう
So many thing we wanna try
Pop songの底に隠れてるDeep style
５０億の願い 渦巻くWorld きっと誰かに届くYour light

息さえつかない 眠れない街
隙も見せずに笑いあって
嘘さえSafety ホントがEmpty
危ないぐらいにwanna shut and break out!

(Now we gotta start Let’s get move)

☆Let’s move into the brand new world
Let’s dive into the brand new trip
広い世界におびえてる
始まったばかりのNow we go full speed and funky beat
きっと輝く around the world

誰かに届くまで 力強くBrand new wind
未来を描く 地図もない
愛だって恋だって マジに出会いたいよ
It’s the time to Travelin’ around the world

Information 秒速で伝わる時代
でもChoiceの仕方がわからない
Money can’t buy my love …

Let’s see… these day my stomach get upset very easily. Not sure whether it is because of my protein rich diet I have been keeping these day, or probably because I’m not having enough vegetables. And it really felt like… I have been feeling more and more uncomfortable with my digestive system isn’t working well these days.

So I’m like… not really sure what should I do, as I’m still on my weight gaining plans. It seemed that I can’t handle a protein rich diet, so I need to figure out some way to gain way in a gradual manner which will not upset my stomach.

And speaking of which, I went to Saisaki, a restaurant specializing in Japanese buffet, with my office friends (Sze Hau, Kok Weng, Yuan …

At the moment, I had somehow lost a clear sight of what I want… well, in terms of my own future advancements. My perception is foggy at the moment that I’m not sure what I want and what’s my worries. It’s pretty hard for me to work the equation out, probably because I’m facing something new in my own life?

Or probably my brain needs some sort of organization now? ^^||

Time to get more rest, been having that sensation of getting sick today :(.

Rest, that’s what I need at the moment :). And probably more water :p.

I think it’s time for me to really refrain from making off-colour jokes… or a least figure out how to refine that :p.

But after some thought, it does stem from the sexual void I’m having… well, much less of a physical factor but more on a emotional level, I guess. But somehow I think that gap is filled up with all the jokes that I’m making, I still have issues to deal with, but it’s much more managable now.

It takes some time, I suppose :).

Yesterday I went to a property fair (yes, I do mean “real estates” alright), and the thing is that I have completely clueless when it comes to real estates and properties XD. It’s like… it’s a completely new thing to me, I didn’t know what shall I look for even.

That pretty much made me looked like a brainless poor soul :p.

At the moment, I’m not sure what will be my future plans. There’s enough subtle changes (some that I’m even aware of myself, to be honest) that I’m still finding myself adjusting to them, I guess (probably would post them in detail in my drifting thoughts posts in the future).

…

I’m starting to have some writer’s block on blogging. Not sure whether is that a good thing or not XD.

Currently tying up loose ends in sorting out a programming task, hopefully I can get it right by tomorrow, but the last bit can be a little bit challenging, to be honest. I’m starting to be able to understand more Japanese speech when I’m watching anime, which is a good thing. But I’m still slacking off with my self study ^-^|||.

Been at Universiti Malaya today as our department was organizing a workshop there, and I was really impressed at how big the campus was :D. It’s really like a small world to explore on its own. Too bad I’m there for work, otherwise I would have wandered around …

I browsed through Hakusensha’s (白泉社) home page and read that Fruits Basket has come to an end. As much as Natsumi had hinted it in many subtle ways, the news was a little sad to me… you know, the same feeling when facing the end or a departure. Somehow these three years of reading the manga, I pretty much have identified myself a lot throughout the manga… as I can related to a lot of things and how each characters felt. The message of courage, initially from Touru and later from various characters, have pretty much resonated in me and has brought me a lot of courage to face the difficulties in life.

But… sooner or later, I will find my own resolve… 😊

In other news, I have been watch Ouran High School Host …

Sometimes I still have grave apprehension over some problems that I had, sometimes I worry myself like I’m having the end of world of some sort.

Now I’m having some issues, more specifically on sales people: well, you know, telemarketers and sales people/agents. Somehow I always feel very, very apprehensive and threaten when I’m with these people. I don’t know, somehow they trying hard to sell somehow made me feel very uncomfortable and triggered a very defensive attitude towards them.

Today in particular I received a phone call from a telemarketer and it really scares me when he knew my name, phone number and my work and he claims that he got it from some sort of bank database. In the end I had the impression he said something like …