It’s a dark and rainy morning today, well… not a good sign when you have to walk to school. Anyway, creativity just struck and I drafted this one. This might not of any real poetic value (well… I personally didn’t like it that much), but I suppose I just post up to share:

Hangin’ On

“Hang on there!”
I hear your whispers around me
Slowly I opened my weary eyes
Seeing nothing but my own illusions…

I have been clinging on this cliff… helpless
So long that my past is fading away from me
I have been trying to recall
those fading memories when I was small
The time when I believed in dreams…

“Hang on there”
I hear your whispers around me again
I knew it wasn’t real
Yet I’m …

Dreaming Awake

“Today is just another day,”
I said to myself just like every other day
Since when I hated to open my eyes
And continue with my dreamy state?

Countless time I had fallen
Yet countless time I’m able to stand up
Since when I’m afraid to fall down
Although the next pain is getting less painful every time?

I feel that I’m living a lie
Where all my true self are in hides
Since when I have been ignoring the emptiness inside
And acted as if everything is fine?

Every time I wanted you to be my side
Yet every time you get closer I get further
Is it that I wanted to be that way?
Or is it that I’m afraid to be hurt again?

Please tell me …

Just for the stress relief, here’s something for your reading pleasure:

Helpless: A Cry For Help

As if planets are revolving around me
It seems like everything around me is twirling
As I close my eyes and hope that this will stop
It didn’t
Everything is swirling inside as well

Every time when people ask me how do I do
I just answered that I’ve been juggling with too much work
As I tried to let them go and hope that this will stop
It didn’t
It’s seems that I’m the one being juggled

As if the force of gravity has increase its strength
It seems that I can barely walk with my legs planted on the ground
As I tried to sit down and hope that I can …

Enough for my sadistic poems… I wrote this after I piece my fragmented thoughts towards what happened to a friend which I won’t be naming here, but if you know that you’re the one being mentioned (I know you knew), this piece is dedicated to you, specially. Sorry I had been a friend with the curse of fragmented thoughts (even the poem reads a little bit fragmented while I’m reading this), sorry I had been a didn’t process feelings soon enough to give any comfort, sorry I had been so far away… (And I’m terribly sorry if I picked the wrong words for this poem -_-“, my vocabulary is so limited I just don’t know what to write at times)

Other than that, this is also dedicated to all …

Every time I close my eyes
I see you… hurt…
Ever since when we are walking in parallel?
And why the distance between us is always far apart?
Every time I see you
You act like nothing happened
But deep down I still can sense
The bleeding in your heart

How many times when I close my eyes
I saw you hurt?
Ever since when we declare as friends
But never ever being close like one?
How many times I see you
I was holding back from calling you?
Perhaps I might be losing hope for many failed attempts
To get your attention

Every time I close my eyes
I see you… fading…
Ever since when my memories about ourselves are dissolving
And my feelings towards you are vanishing?
Every time I see you
You …

Prelude

I remembered… the time we first met
When my eyes are focused on you
And hearing your crystal like voice
The storekeeper said you are special
But care must be taken
Because once broken
It’s hard to repair
Harder to replace
But I never noticed
What I heard was your charming song…

Progression

I remember… the time we finally be together
When my eyes are focused on you
And you’re sitting there, being silent
I gently wind you up
And you let out ticking sounds
As if you are telling me something
It’s hard to understand
Harder to feel what you are feeling
But I never noticed
What I heard was your charming song…

Interlude

I remembered… the time we had spent together
When my eyes are focused on you
And …

Connected

It seems like we are living in two dimensions
Where you and I are never destined to be together
Yet sometimes life is often unpredictable
I noticed you through a flux of void

There, I saw you
Vague as it seems, it seems so real
Through that window you seemed so close
I thought you were here

Happy time we had together
I never knew that I’m able to find someone
Who I feel destined to be with me
Yet hopes can be fragile

Reality strikes
The void has disappeared
And you are never to be seen… again
And I was left there…. waiting

Through times I was hurt
Again and again
Still clinging on
Yet I never knew that we are not destined to meet

Is it that what brought us together …

May past hurts will be left behind without a trail, and hope that I’m able to move further towards my dreams…

Empty Bed

When I open my door
My eyes gleamed over you
But you aren’t really there
Except for that empty bed

I let my burden down away from my shoulders
I wanted to tell you how tough it was
But you aren’t really there
Except for that empty bed

I trailed my fingers over the linen
Slowly closing in to your soft hair
But you aren’t really there
Except for that empty bed

Slowly I sit myself down
Wishing for a lovely embrace
But you aren’t really there
Except for that empty bed

Gently I lay my tired body down
Wishing to see your angelic face before I …

OK, I’m going to do away with my usual ranting at school, so let me just steer away from that.

Anyway, I just notice that I’m picking up my writing hobby back! The last time I remember that I attempted at writing is in high school: during that time, I got an enthusiastic teacher (perhaps over-enthusiastic) who likes students to be involved in writing Chinese literature. And he got so many contacts and has a really keen ear in getting news about writing competitions, and he always use that and try to lure more students to get into writing. (And apparently I’m one of them… the prize money is way too tempting for about 200~2000 words ^_^”) And I remembered myself developing a liking to write short stories about the good …