Reflecting back on myself: Sometimes a manipulator, sometimes an exhibitionist.

Sooner or later, people are bound to realise that I’m not what I seemed to be. Facing the unexpected aspect of me, how people will respond? How I’ll be able to handle and respond as well…?

Sometimes it’s much easier to feel negative than to be positive, it’s much easier to feel sad instead of doing something about it, it’s much easier to give up all hopes than to continue to strive to achieve our own peak.

Probably that also means that it’s much easier to become an escapist than human…? It’s indeed a long journey ahead…

开始学习爱的过程，开始看到自己的空虚，自己的贫乏。

原来就因如此，所以会向往和羡慕真正懂得爱的人。

During the process of learning what love really is, I start to see my own emptiness, my own poverty.

That I realised that because of that, I always look up to and admire those who really understood love.

或许是觉得自己不值得被爱，所以才会无形中为自己画个界线，等着喜欢的人会越界吧!

…这也反映着我也是不敢越界的人吧！

Maybe I felt that I’m not worthy to be love, therefore I have drawn a borderline around myself unconsciously, waiting for the one I liked to cross it!

… This also reflects the fact that I’m one of those person who didn’t dare to cross other people’s territory!

本当の愛は誰がわかりますか。そんな人が会いたいんですね。質問がたくさんありますから。

Who really knows true love? I really wished that I’m able to meet them, because I have a lot of questions.

The thing that I’m aware of and constantly forget is that every interaction with any people around us, especially which are closest to us, reflects certain aspects of who we are.

Not to mention that it has been in my impromptu posts several times (I believe: at least once, I’m pretty sure of that)

又迷失了方向，心中又有些彷徨。

是渴望着一个可以容身的地方吗？

似乎现在追求这所谓的“归宿感”好像让自己疲惫不堪。

现在的我，似乎在依靠这那冰冷的城门，似乎还在希望着从你身上寻找一份温暖吧…

Losing my sense of direction again, my heart seemed to waver again.

Is that I dire for a place that I will be accepted?

It seems that “Sense of belonging” which I desired have made me feeling all exhausted instead.

The person who I am now, is as if as I’m leaning on that cold castle gates, as if as I’m still hoping to seek warmth from you…

一番ほしいものがあるから、放棄しません。がんばっています。

Because there exists the most important thing that I wanted, (I’ll) never give up. I’ll work hard for it.

听到不一定代表知道，知道不一定代表明白，明白不一定代表懂得，懂得不一定代表行动。

Listening doesn’t really mean knowing, Knowing doesn’t really mean understanding,
Understanding doesn’t really mean assimilating,
Assimilating doesn’t really mean manifestation/action.