Somehow I came to a point in which it felts as seems that my understanding have reached to a limit which all I can see is just a endless frame of walls.

Is this the end? Yet something tells me that there’s something beyond what can be understood.

At this point of a roadblock… what is to be done next….?

It’s either that it is impossible, or that I’m incapable to see and achieve things to its highest (possibly hidden) potential.

After some very random rambling that I had, I finally realised that I got a new acronym under my belt now: PCD - Progress Conscious Disorder. 😛

It’s not what you preach or read that matters, but it’s what you interpret, see, feel and do that counts.

Today, I caught a glimpse of my own raw self.

Chapter 4 — The Awakening

December 2005

Deep asleep…
All this while
I was hushed gently
that it’s time to wake up

Never easy
To open up
My whole being trembling
Knowing everything will change completely

It’s never
An easy journey
Where hope and pain
Intertwined together as one entity

Finally realised
How to live…
That I can’t be
Staying in the dark forever

Slowly approaching
My eyes opening…
This is my awakening
With my eyes watching attentively

Appreciating all experiences that enriches my being…

~ Continuously, to seek, to understand and to appreciate:
It’s an endless pilgrimage
towards the ultimate goal.
Forever… Together…~

- Felix Leong’s In Hues of Blue: From Malaysia with love -

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Chapter 5: My Way Home

June 2006

Throughout my journey, I have gained much, I have lost much …

Continue Reading (323 words, 2 minute read)

若说心情就像风筝一样，周遭的环境，人与事务就像四周的风一样：在不安定，不测与混乱中飘扬。

或许有时自己有时会忘记那个拉着线控制局面的人。只是记得自己就是风筝…

但回首想想，原来一向来自己也是糊涂了：真正的自己，正是在拉着线的那个人。

If feelings are to be described as a kite, our surroundings, people and events are just like the winds around it: Flying in all the uncertainties, unpredictable and chaos.

Maybe, sometimes I forget the person who is pulling the strings and controlling the situation. Only remembered that I’m the kite…

But thinking about it, only to realize that I am confused all this while: The real self, is exactly the one who is holding the strings.

Up until now, it’s still two selves being in the same body: One hankering to fit in with others; the other is not concerned with others but to walk on my own path.

Have lost myself once through seeking, yet having found myself later on through seeking.

I’m matured… in theory, that is :p.