Two words would describe what I’m feeling now: EXTREMELY BUSY! @_@” Well… taking care of several things and to take responsibility is definitely an experience to me. (well… at least to handle responsibility is an experience to me XDDDD)

But thinking about it, it a good thing, since being able to take up responsibilities means that you have the choice to do whatever you pursue and liked :3. (well… if you didn’t enjoy it, most probably it would have been work/burden/duty, blah blah blah…)

Yeah, sometimes the responsibility is so heavy that one might feel overwhelmed many times, and sometimes it might seems like suffering. But looking at it from another angle, it only shows that responsibility and freedom often come hand in hand: In order to attain financial freedom, you …

This is not the first time I heard this question… This is not the first time I heard people questioning their own existence… This is not the first time I heard people hoping that they would not exist…

I have been through all this at least once… And yet I can’t seem to comprehend the reason…

Why the despair? Why the agony? …Why?

They said that the beauty of life is of the freedom of choice of humans And yet we just can’t choose in our favourable form of existence… But then again… how can we define what we like if we didn’t born to exist…?

(…to be continued in some “Today’s Drifting Thoughts” section… when the time has cometh)

Sometimes I really wished that I’m able to provide answers …

Sometimes taking some time to leave my mind blank to piece up some of my thought fragments just made me wonder quite a lot. It just seems to me that there’s always things… which seems to come and go… and revisit again for a while. It seems that when you thought when you got hold of it, it suddenly slips away from you.

For now, it seems that all the things which happens to me just seemed to dissolve away… something. I don’t know what is being dissolved, yet I know it exists. Strange, huh? I just can’t seem to comprehend all these abstract thoughts… Some times I just can’t stop but wonder what do we call as knowledge, and what do we call as wisdom?

Currently I’m trying… trying …

Just to clarify a thing or two before I start this entry (because I believe without this information, it would be really hard for anyone to comprehend this entry is going to be about): Currently I’m in a relationship (OK, for those who has their jaw dropped, just keep it that way for now), and now I’m currently with Erika.

… (OK, for those who have their jaws dropped, you can keep them up now before I continue with my entry).

Anyway, I have kept this out from my LJ due to the fact that there might be some bashers still around reading my stuff. And for some reasons (karma or whatever crap), I’m pretty much always involved in short-lived relationships. But I believe that this is the right time to put it …

Yesterday, one of my best friends, Kang Jun just drop by for a visit. The weather for that evening isn’t too uplifting, with drizzling rains showering over the earth while we are walking back to my house.

And it kept raining… seemingly to signify some sort of unknown sorrows.

Back home, we talked a lot: friends back in our hometowns, life in general, all the boring things that we learned at school… As much as the conversation goes, I just seem to feel a bit odd. It seems something is… just being in me, yet I can’t seem to comprehend. And yet, this feeling has been with me for quite some time, being there for so long that I’m getting used to it: an acceptance of an unknown thought for the sake …

It’s been quite a while ever since the last time I let my thoughts drift. But apparently the Higher Forces are giving me a chance to do so.

Through the things that happened to me lately, some of kinds words from people that I’m unable to comprehend just suddenly fits into place. Some of my scattered thoughts are suddenly placed nicely into groups that I’m starting to notice patterns.

People have been telling me that when they started to know me better, they really wish that they don’t, or being close to me for that matter. Looking back, it seemed quite true, and eventually I have lost quite some friends because of that. Does that shows the weakness in people? Some misunderstanding between people? Or is it just the acts of …

Really… to describe what I feel today would be extremely complicated… well… it basically isn’t complicated, but I just feel two totally different feelings conflicting with each other, and yet at the same time, but feelings are pretty much closely related to each other… maybe to a point that they are relatively similar.

I think I’m unable to put my feelings in words right now, considering how bad I was in expressing these complicated thoughts, let me just say what happened today.

Early in the morning, I went to the dentist for a checkup. It’d have been a normal incident if it’s not the case that I haven’t had my dental checkup for like… 3 years? And to be honest, my teeth are pretty much in bad shape now XD …

No papers today, but I just keep it short:

• Why when people gives me criticism or advice, the first reaction I had is retaliation, as much as I understand that their intentions are good? Why I always trying hard to resist of giving into sincere advice (which definitely going to bitter and hard) but I just have totally no resistence to soft persuasions which might be bad for me?

  I really hope that I can blame human nature for that and get over with it, but then again I can do something to change this behaviour…

• So many decisions to make, yet so little time to consider. I don’t know… I really hate to make bad decisions, but I really can’t differentiate the major life-changing decisions with the minor ones.

  In times like …

And so Dr Tay, who is supposed to be our final year project supervisor, have to go to France for 3 months later. And so the story goes that we were meeting Dr Lai, who is an external project supervisor, and see whether we can have him as our main supervisor while Dr Tay being co(-supervisor).

And by that everything should be a piece of cake, that’s what I believe it to be and which seems to be true… but that comes with a really nasty twist that really gave me an extreme shock (more on that later).

And so the story unfolds (imagine people starting to get impatient on me for keeping to repeat “and so”):

Just this perfect morning I went with Choon Hui and Xian Yi to meet up with …