The red spots are not getting any better, it was worse than I thought as I saw more of them on my arms and legs today. ;__; Any without any itching or fever, that makes me a bit worried as I’m not sure whether is it a problem or not. (well… although ascetically it IS a problem)

Still having that internal debate on whether I should wait and see whether those spots will fade or that I go to the doctor tomorrow just to make sure.

Just wondering whether I’m better off having a pet dog, if all I wanted is some love, warmth and care. Probably I just wanted something that I can nurture and take care of (or am I just starting to get hopeless with humans? Eh heh heh ^^||).

Probably I was exposed to too many friendly dogs that came close to me without hesitation and liked to be stroked and touched for the past few months. I think I wouldn’t surprise myself if I decided to adopt one, definitely will get one once I got to stay on my own. I think.

… that I’m normal. But I’m still curious why I got the spots, though. Allergic reaction? Heat rash?

As much they aren’t that obvious without a closer look, but I didn’t liked those spots. Well… at least they are getting better now.

Just came back from the clinic and had my blood sample extracted out. Now I’m staying at home, feeling a bit nervous while waiting for the test results. There’s no surprise that I’m a bit nervous, both in terms of present symptoms and my own past acts.

But… it’s time to really face my own fears, I guess. I know I had fears to see the doctor in the past, but I’m glad that I overcame that after what happened in the past few months (which I had no choice but to see the doctor). Now it’s more about my current physical condition, just have to do whatever I need to do then, I suppose. (As much as I’m a regular blood donor, which pretty much means that …

While I was at the gym at 4pm, I suddenly noticed that I got red spots all over my arms when I rolled my sleeves. And I’m like O_O|| and noticed that there’s spots on my thighs as well! (guess how much I freaked out).

So it’s like… I sort of rushed out from the gym, after taking my shower. Went to see the doctor later but she said that I’d need to take a blood test tomorrow as she can’t really determine the cause yet. But now, I notice that the red spots are starting to fade away. Hmm… I wonder whether is it just a allergy or not? I don’t know, see how the spots turn out tomorrow :).

Other than that, just got ATB’s The DJ …

Just for the record, caught a flu today, although it didn’t turn out to be a full fledged flu attack (probably because I had Panadol yesterday, knowing that I might be getting a cold). But blegh, it’s still nasty: my throat is slightly inflamed and sore throats were never nice to have. Not to mention the minor pain on the joints and muscles.

Hope I get well soon enough, say, tomorrow?

Been very, very sleepy today, not sure whether is it that I didn’t have enough sleep for the past two days or that the sleep debt is accumulating. I pretty much slept for the whole afternoon X_X. What’s worse? I caught a cold, again. I think I won’t be able to switch on the fan as mosquito repellent strategy.

Anyway, been listening to Ministry of Sound radio today. So pretty much I’m having a dance floor day. Somehow I’m surprised to notice the breakbeat genre, probably would really look into it as it sounded nice to me. Also I think I would like to sample Groove Coverage’s music, I have loved them since I heard them on LovePara^2, but listening to some samples to their originals made me …

I was at Sook Lan’s place yesterday, only with Seck Min (one of my colleague) this time round. And as we reached her store, it’s not hard to notice that she had already made the minor renovations that she had mentioned previously, and this time round it looked better: having outdoor and indoor sections, a television showing promotional attraction ads, seating arrangements indoor didn’t looked that spaced out now. Pretty much the only changes were made to the layout than anything (and probably the lighting as well? It didn’t seem that the illumination temperature was that apparent as before… as in it doesn’t have that noticeable warm light by the sides and cool light in the middle).

Then we pretty much caught up with recent happenings, but mostly it revolves …

Sometimes I got so fed up and tired that I wished that I won’t get easily attracted to guys who are either “taken” or homophobic (even the degree of openness that “open and accepts to homosexuality of others but being completely defensive when homosexuals shows affection towards them” were in this category, if I were to really distinguish them). Probably I could have hurt deeper if I were not to cross “taken” guys from my list ever since Choon Hui’s incident.

Although to be honest my approach to decline someone’s feelings is not really all that considerate and nice -_-||.

sigh I wonder what’s missing from my approach? Maybe it’s something that needs me to bump into more brick walls to gain experience?

其实什么才真正算是“需要”？是“生存必需品”的最低限度吗？若是如此，“最低限度”的定义到底是什么？“生存”的真正意义是什么？“生命”到底是什么？

若生理，心理和精神上的满足并不是一切的话，那么人真正需要的是什么…？

-当一切又是一切，又同时并不是一切的时候-

What can really be counted as a “need”? Is it the lowest limit of “requirements needed for survival”? If that’s the case, what’s the definition of “the lowest limit”? What’s the real meaning of “survival”? What is “life”?

If physical, emotional and spiritual fulfillment were not everything, then what does man really needs…?

- When everything is everything, and yet at the same time it isn’t -