Just got my little red book today, called the “Malaysian Passport” :). As much I don’t think I’d travel much (let alone overseas), but probably would be nice to go out once in a while. Think would go to Singapore at least once :).

Anyway, just find myself whining and whining and whining ^^||. Not really much to complain about, really. ^^|| (as in there aren’t really reasons for myself to whine apart from the problems that I brought to myself, really)

I’m in a complete financial wreck at the moment (and I pretty much did it knowingly), as if I’m making myself hard for a couple of months down the road (but honestly speaking I mean more to the fact that my splurge is going to eat into my saved travel expenses next …

What I thought would be a half day thing ends up taking up most of my time today.

Anyway, I took a half-day leave today to get my passport done, as well as getting my KWSP (equivalent to social security in the US?) online statement activated. And so I went to Wangsa Maju, which is pretty much a foreign place to me as I never that far up north before for the years I have been in Klang Valley. And, wanting to save some money and trusting that my research on buses were sufficient enough to know what route to take, I took the feeder bus as soon as I got down from the LRT.

Everything was smooth up to that point and I forgotten something important that had cost me an hour: I didn …

I just mirrored my blog over to my web server, pretty much for my own reference only than anything. And at least I have a second blog or some sort in case LiveJournal decides to turn evil XD.

Anyway, I’m sort of revisiting the idea of reviving several sites of mine, seeing how my web server was being put into extreme disuse (and I’m paying for it! X(). Judging from my procrastination habits, I think it wouldn’t take off without much friction on my part. Haha :p, learning server-side scripting like PHP and doing web design is a lot of work, to be honest.

Well… let’s see how my enthusiasm goes. Baby steps would be nice enough :).

Well… at least the Malaysian version of Uncle Sam (i.e. the government)

Yup, it’s the first time I’m getting taxed and one of the most convenient things that we had now is e-Filing, which I can just fill up my file online and let the computer do most of the calculations.

Only problem? The bottom line O_O||. Apparently I was pretty much shocked seeing how much I was taxed, like… RM300? Which isn’t that much if you sort of think of it as around RM25 per month for the country’s welfare, but I didn’t expect tax WAS an expensive one time per annum cost. OUCH! And I’m in a very tight financial situation even with my remaining bonus coming in this month, luckily I do save a lot …

In the end, what I’m able give you… are the only things that I have. Therefore…

Blah… not really in a good condition today. For some unknown reasons I felt my hamstring muscle being sore and tight since yesterday. No pain were felt when I was inactive but as soon as I walked around or something, it’s just very uncomfortable (slight pain, but not really all that serious). Not to mention that I had some trouble peeing as I felt the muscles around my butt and hamstrings were being strained.

It’s felt much better today, not sure whether is it because of myself exercising or not. 😒 Think have to be more observant and careful this time round, and probably I think I’d be better to see the doctor if the problem persists or gets worse.

But anyway, today I just went up for a meeting at Genting Highlands …

Just got A BEST 2… both of them… the CD+DVD+DVD edition… at the expense of next month’s pay (credit cards can be both a blessing and a curse).

At least I got a discount and two posters for getting both of them :). And… It’s my first Countdown Live DVD :D!

Speaking of which, my colleague commented that “I don’t understand why people support their idol with such enthusiasm” (…or something like that, I can’t remember the words at all): It’s funny as it’s exactly what I thought about a few years back when I was in high school ^^||. And apparently now it was happening to me as I support Ayu a lot (although not to a point of fandom… but I do collect all her major albums …

昨天，一整天在颓废状态中。只是面对电脑屏幕，完全让自己投入于虚拟世界。总是觉得这样的生活，似乎没什么生气，死沉沉似的。那感觉到现在都依然如此，想着“这样的生存方式，真的要继续下去吗？”…就这么样的想法。

- 同一个空间的生/死边缘 -

Yesterday, I was dispirited for the whole day. Only facing the monitor, letting myself immerse in the virtual world. I was always thinking this kind of life, seemingly without any much signs of liveliness. That feeling still persists until now, thinking “This kind of life, am I really wanting to continue it?” …that’s what I’m thinking at the moment.

- The brink of life/death in the same dimension -

－就是因为有“需要”，有“想要”，所以才会去“寻找”。就因为大家“需要”的东西不同，世界才如此充满独特的冒险。－

所谓“最后的爱”，似乎明白一点点了。心中一向烦躁着得到得不到，在“爱”中其实这个问题不曾存在过。这个“存在”，心中感应得到，感觉得到就好了。

虽然已经遗忘了好多遍，当这感觉回涌的当时把他记住就好了。

虽然，或许，这段路上没有人会永久相随，继续放开心胸，继续让自己感应就好了。

就算是一点点也好。

“It’s because there’s ‘needs’ and ‘wants’, therefore I still continue to “search”. And because the ‘needs’ of everyone is different, that’s why the world will still continue to be filled with unique adventures.”

That so called “last love”, I think I’m starting to understand a little bit of it. That inner frustration that whether I’ll be able to have it or not, in “love” this question does not exist at all. This “existence”, as long my heart is capable to sense, to feel it, that’s good enough.

Although I forgot about it many times, as long as I’m aware …

Is it that everything that was only conceived in the head to be the best which reality may never match…?

- 😛 -