Doing some quick math today, it just seemed that it’s going to be a hardship if I were to really go ahead with my house hunting plans soon. It’s like, once I had all the numbers crunched by those free online mortgage calculators, it’s going to be a really big chunk from my present salary, not to mention it’s a individual feat (i.e. I’m not sharing the cost with the significant half… as if I had one anyway). And starting to look into the details of the extra expenses in case I move into that dream home of mine (read: bills and maintenance),

So, with my present expenses and my increment forecast, more realistically it can only happen at mid-2008/9? Definitely not this year, that’s what I …

Remember the fact that although our surroundings can impose anything on us, the only perpetrator of having our souls envenomed is ourselves: the concussion made from our very own perception through all our senses.

- the undivided and undiscriminating -

At the moment the “territory” that used to be occupied by myself alone now has two new temporary (?) “inhabitants” (???!!! ^^|||) now: my cousin Jin is staying in the guest room next to mine and my sister now occupying the second bed in my room.

Meaning, less personal space for myself? But honestly speaking most of my time was spent outside, so probably it doesn’t really matter, except for some… well, trivial inconveniences? cough cough 😛

But thinking in another perspective, at least for the time being my aunt have some company from the two. Thinking that way, that’s a good thing.

Every choice we made reflects the amount of possibility and responsibility that we are willing to undertake.

And therefore what’s really important, is to be aware our own path and decide how we are going to treat whatever that’s provided within ourselves and without of the surroundings we are in.

- Ripples of life -

君といっしょうにの記憶は眩しくて、きれいで、忘れたくない。でも、時間が渡ると同時に、そのきれいなものを少しずつしぼんでいる。

そのものが全部消えてなったら、どうするかな。

- いつもの祈り -

Every single passing moment, everybody is always influencing something, causing the never-ending cycle of cause and effect.

This, is the nature of energy itself.

- The world -

什么是幸福？
什么是自由？
难道一切顺着自己的意愿是幸福吗？
 难道可以毫无顾忌的去做自己想要做的是自由吗？

What is happiness?
What is freedom?
Could happiness be said as having everything following one’s desires?
Could freedom be said as doing whatever we pleased without any reservations?

Once a perception is limited to something, that’s the only thing that it’ll be able to manifest itself.

… I mean, the things that surrounds me seemed to like to pick this few days to fail or break down.

At work, the phone system and email system decides to act up, and imagine work without email (which is the main communication channel in our company): it can either be heaven (e.g. YES! I don’t have to get bothered with work related communications for a while) or a complete nightmare (e.g. OMG!!! There’s a few urgent mails that I have to send out!!!)

Then the KL Monorail had a technical difficulty today which makes us wait for at least 30 minutes for a train to arrive, and trains that resembled packed sardine tins are definitely not comfortable (nor was the sea of commuters on the platform waiting at a hot afternoon …

強い絶望の気持ちを持って、”諦める方がよかった”と思います。

欲しいのものは持っていない、大切なものも覚えて出せない。そんなに厳しくて、戦争みたいの世界と考えて、打ち勝つことができるか?