In light of the H1N1 outbreak that has been going on for months, it sort of reminded me of an old cartoon that I’d drawn for my own amusement years back (probably also for some kind of a reminder myself).

Some of us may have little secrets of our own that we wished that nobody will discover. I had a few of those myself.

These little secrets may even have nothing inherently wrong in them, it’s just part of our nature, desires or even dreams, and yet we are fearful: as we are conditioned to conceive these as radical or socially unacceptable. Sometimes the fear could be so strong that we perceive them to be mortally so.

Therefore we kept mum, acting against ourselves and clinging on to the thought that by doing so, nobody will know - so that we can blend into conformity. Sometimes we may succeed in deceiving others; other times not so - but those caring people around us decided to not mention about their observation with the best of intentions.

Either …

Mind chatter: the little monologue that runs through the head, trying to get attention. Usually it wasn’t of much harm until they suddenly felt in the mood to gossiping bad things about the host: remarking the many things that the host lacked or the mistakes and screw-ups that he had created.

And occasionally, I overheard the voice in me; and they, noticing that someone is tuning in, only gets more excited to speak more rapidly and loudly. And with such increasing intensity of the voice, it can get quite convincing.

The great strength about humans, though, is the power of our own consciousness and awareness. Yes, many times I have been finding myself in the deep end of the pool of self-doubt, and was suddenly made aware of the situation. With help and resilience …

Occasionally such things does happen to me: especially at times when my own personal problems overwhelmed me to a point which I felt extremely lethargic to even handle it at all. The thing is that as much sleep therapy does relieves the stress and rejuvenates the weary soul, it doesn’t relieve me off my personal responsibility in making decisions and deal with these issues upfront.

So, at the time when I found out that problems looming over my head even when I wake up, I take that as a really serious warning sign.

It’s always good news if you had great parents and friends who are supportive. The bad news is that there’s times you wished that they don’t worry about you too much. It’s all about being able to know what to listen to and what not to, and have the courage to take up the responsibility of accepting whatever consequences that falls upon you for each life decision you made.

Recently I was exposed to Hugh MacLeod, whom is popular for producing cartoons that are drawn on the back of business cards. Apart from the fact that his cartoons are really funny (some of them wickedly so :)), I also liked the idea of drawing behind business cards and really had a strong urge in trying to draw some of my own.

Not to mention that I still have two boxes of “art stock” thanks to my previous employment :-p.

Anyway, this is the card that I have drawn yesterday. Personally have been through quite a rough patch in life and as I was facing the impending challenge ahead of me, I felt small. I mean, after being completely drained out of energy to complete a particularly hard task, the thought of inferiority flooded me as …

Recently I was brought to attention by Eng Lee of a Facebook page that reads “The Felix Leong Fan Club”. Usually that wouldn’t have been interesting judging from the fact that “Felix Leong” was my lame attempt in coming up with an online nickname and there’s lots of Felix’es around. But what he found so amusing is that the group uses my self-drawn avatar as the image for the group!

And the group type reading “Common Interest - Sexuality” and a description of “DJ FeLLIo” added on the laughter it creates for myself and my friends: that’s enough to conjure me having an alter ego of becoming a DJ with a Canadian fanbase… and sexuality comes into the picture for some unknown reason (I’ll leave that to your imagination :-p).

Now …

Come to think of it, it’s kind of funny that we often tell ourselves to make sure that we live life and yet forgetting about that very advice? We often tell people that we don’t want to live like zombies but yet reflecting back most of us are on the brink of becoming one (well, at least on the weekdays being unconsciously caged in a cubicle facing a radiation source for 8 hours).

What we usually tell people is that “we are earning a living” – sort of indirectly implying that it’s about our own survival. But the irony is that we are working at a living grave towards the grave.

If that’s a scary analogy, well… I couldn’t think of a better way of putting it.

And it doesn’t …

Basically that’s what I noticed when I was at the gym today and I personally find it slightly amusing 😛 (though, in a certain sense, it was a self-deprecating joke).

What happens when you need to find your own filing cabinet among a sea of hundreds of them?

Worse, they are all arranged closely together: meaning you have to pull them out one by one if you are unlucky to have yours in the deep end of the sea of cabinets.

Even worse, you notice that all labels are stuck in the front and the only way you are going to find yours is to move them out one at a time.

Worst of them all… these things are heavy.

That’s the most amusing experience I got when I moved into the new office (or rather my second coming :p) today.