幸福，就像空气一样，一直都是在你我身边。只能凭感觉和感受才能发现它的存在。

或许是因为我们看不到，摸不到，听不到，嗅不到，尝不到，我们都拼命地去追求，去寻找。很多时候就因如此忘了停下脚步，喘不过气来的当时，才发现让自己不能够呼吸的…就是自己的愚昧。

或许那时会发现自己刻意去寻找的气力可能是一种白费，但其实这个寻找的过程是个隐饰的幸福吧！就因为这种喘不过气的痛苦，才能让我们深深体会到空气的存在。

…这就是幸福。

-爱与生活-

Happiness is like air, always surrounds you and me. Only through our feeling and sense that we are able to notice its existence.

Maybe it’s because that we can’t see, touch, hear, sniff or taste it, we are always in a quest to pursuing and search vigorously. But a lot of times we forget to stop our footsteps because of our attempts, until the time that we desparately catch our breaths, only we realise that the reason that cause our difficulty of breathing… is our stupidity.

Maybe at that time we might think that the energy spent in our search is a big wastage, but actually this searching process is happiness in …

Currently working on planning and learning to build sites, those that runs on PHP, that is :).

In other news, a old primary school friend + classmate found me over Friendster :D. It’s kinda embarrassing that I can’t remember her and it took me quite a while to have my memory refreshed. ^^” And got a surprise mail from my mom’s friend, who is a Japanese teacher overseas :D. I’m now typing my mail in Japanese, hope this’d be a great chance to really practise my Japanese :D.

There are a few things that has definitely gone wrong somewhere that I really have to adjust myself. Can’t always keep myself in such a mess all the time, neh?

Anyway, I finally got the chance to tell Tommy that I quit from MYPPF. Well… just say that we have different views and direction on how MYPPF should be managed. And it’s much better that he don’t have to be restricted and he now has more room to do his stuff to promote parapara. As for me, I think I’ll just focus on what I do best: promoting parapara through the Internet :p. I’m still planning my ParaGroove! (tentative) website, I’m thinking of making it a multi-lingual site like how Jason and Dom did. Most likely it’ll be …

Copied all my photographs from my office PC back home, and managing almost close to 2000 photographs is COMPLETE madness!

Probably the easier part is to convert all motion JPEG videos into a more space friendly form such as DivX or WMV. The harder part is to filter the pictures that is beyond what I’m able to fix and those which is not good for keeping (= put it bluntly, bad/awful/junk).

That would probably take me days to sort them out, if not weeks.

But at least I have them over in my computer now :).

Just bought a new external housing for my long forgotten notebook hard drive. Somehow I can’t believe how much junk I have stuffed into my hard drive in the past :p. Kind of a relief that I can still retrieve back some of my old Eurobeat MP3s that I have downloaded in the past. It wasn’t much, around 10 or so, but I’m just happy because there are some of the mostly missed music (Don’t You Love Me, Go Go’s And The Monkeys, Not For Sale etc.).

Somehow I wiped out the data in there… as much there are some past written work which I have poured in a lot of effort. I can still remember those memories vividly. But… well… in the end, I still persisted in wiping them …

Why the unnecessary anguish? Is it a jealousy of your reality? Or is it that I’m jealous of the best illusory ending for you in my mind?

Sometimes it just so hard to bear, that it seem so impossible to get myself fitting into the best picture for you. Is it that I’m letting way so that you are able to find what’s best for you? Or is it that I don’t feel confident in myself that probably I am already the best for you…?

… Or is it that I fell in my own illusory world, that all my perceptions towards you is everything but the reality…?

- Enlighten by love, blinded by self -

[To Ahmed: The comment isn’t displayed here for some unknown reason, but it did get into my mail :).]

Within a few days of sickness and pain, my own being seems to be in disorganization. Somehow it does made me realise the importance of keeping the mind, heart, body and soul in harmony with existence. In moments of dischord, only to realise how much unawareness of one’s actions, repression and the illusory ego can cause self-inflicted wounds to one being.

…

Coming back to real life, been picking up Japanese again, this time round I’m sure I’ll make it. I have also been reading Chuang Tsu, and probably I would read more about the great thinkers in the past in a quest of searching.

Currently still in the process of recovery (mainly from the physical aspect, but it’s not really a big issue now) and catching up with everything in the office.

During my week up there in Genting, I have pretty much suffered from sickness in the heart and body. And now while I’m still recovering, I can say that I have sickness in the mind as well, considering the fact that my head hurts that I can’t really think.

As much it’s not much of a bad thing since there’s much less rubbish in my brain, but the biggest annoyance is that the aching! Ugh…

Still recovering from my illness.

理想…在心中到底是怎样的东西呢 ?

Deep down in my heart, what kind of a thing(s) that I call it as an “ideal”?

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Living in Fear

From Osho Times Online: Your Answers Quetioned on Emotions (Nov 13 Issue)

All your fears are by-products of identification.

You love a woman and with the love, in the same parcel comes fear: she may leave you — she has already left somebody and come with you. There is a precedent; perhaps she will do the same to you. There is fear, you feel knots in the stomach. You are too …