Phew! Finally I got two sets of my CNY clothes bought :).

As usual, I bought two contrasting set of clothes, in terms of colours and style (like what I did last year for Fire and Ice Style), and apparently how I got the idea for these two sets of clothes are very random: I have the idea for the first set by an impromptu basis; and for the second set, I have a very clear idea of what kind of contrast I wanted to make, but it ended up as another kind of contrasting idea that I never expect! Sounds confusing, more on that later! 😊

Anyway, I’m not going to talk about the first set yet, since that’s pretty much last Christmas’s news (And I really didn’t bothered to take a …

November 2005 - Put Onto The Test

“As hurtful as it seems, yet I knew very well that love is a freedom and not an imprisonment of oneself and others, especially the people we love a lot.” — November 1, 2005

“Is it an attachment of security? Or is it that I fear of the possibility of the worst possible scenario?” — November 11, 2005

“… Or is it that I fell in my own illusory world, that all my perceptions towards you is everything but the reality…?” — November 22, 2005

“幸福，就像空气一样，一直都是在你我身边。只能凭感觉和感受才能发现它的存在。” (Happiness is like air, always surrounds you and me. Only through our feeling and sense that we are able to notice its existence.) — November 25, 2005

Comment:

Yet another silent month, not to mention that it’s my birth month as well.

Looking back …

September 2005 - Searching The Way… Back Or Otherwise

“Confidence is just another word of “trust”: The very beautiful quality of humans to trust both external and internal factors, both possibilities and limitations, both good and bad, is the very sandbox of your own life, fate and destiny that you want to mould and pursue.” — September 2, 2005

“The decisions that I made… Is to love even more, is to trust even more, and to move even further. I choose to be someone that I wanted to be: And this is the journey of finding my true identity.” — September 2, 2005

“It a time when you stand in the middle of nowhere: One leads back where you came from, another probably would lead to a point of no return… and there’s no way to know …

Hmm… to me, it’s just a simple celebration, since I’m celebrating it on my own, basically that calls for self indulgence :p.

Anyway, got myself pizza for the new year’s eve dinner. Starting a fresh year by going to working out at the gym, then later on I went to buy one more set of new clothes for Chinese New Year… and returned empty handed ~_~||. I can’t seem to find anything that I really liked there, but I’m going out tomorrow so hope there’s one awaiting for my attention :p.

I managed to get myself a wallet chain for my first set of clothes :), which is the final touch to it.

Later on I got my hair cut again and I’m back to my more energetic, spiked …

Phew… what a blogathon today. I almost spent the whole day just typing out my entries (and yet I still need to finish two more parts ^-^||).

Anyway, let me just review my own life goals back in 29 June 2005:

• Complete the basic framework for two of my sites: FelixLeong.com(personal website) and MYPPF.net (Malaysian Parapara Fantasy), which should include at least all the content inherited from my past works together with a flexible site building framework for me to update my site with ease

  Reality check: Hmm… Honestly speaking, this goal is no where from being achieved. But I’m starting on some simple projects for FelixLeong.com, as I’m trying to tackle it bit by bit.

• Learn Japanese to a level that I’m able to at least read, write …

很多时候，会觉得爱很痛苦。
为何呢？
 其实就是很多时候，就只会希望别人怎样去爱自己，但却没去细心观察对方爱的表现和方式。

就因为他爱你的表现和方式和自己想象中不一样…所以让自己或双方受伤，那又何必呢…？

原来，爱…就是那么的一回事。

A lot of times, I feel love is painful.
Why?
Because a lot of times, I only know how to wish how others should love me, but I never observed carefully the way others express their love.

Just because the way others love you is different from what you have expected… And causing pain to oneself or with the other, is that really worth it?

Love… is something like that.

与其说爱是一种获得，实际上它是一种失去。

能够彻底了解这一点的人，才能够明白真爱。

Instead of saying that love is an attainment, in actual fact it is really a loss.

Those who is capable to understand this point fully, are the only ones who understands true love.

July 2005 - Silent Progression

“But eventually as I find myself can’t even able to get rid of this pest from hindering my work, the frustrations get piled up to a point that I got extremely pissed off about it: The feeling is just like when there’s a fly buzzing around you. You know you can swat that fly, but this fly seems to show some cunningness as it avoid and dodges all your offensive attacks. Each and every time you miss it, the fly seems to grow in size, and yet no matter how hard you try, it just seems to find a way to buzz away from your attack… even worse, it seems to have fun at it as it flies around you with a sarcastic glee.” (Describing my debugging experience :p …

May 2005 - Switching Environments: Changes Abound

“…while most of the better (if not best) blogs does seem to voice out opinions towards various topics, and provide some sort of a deep analysis regarding the topic being mentioned, mine is just filled with tons and tons of questions left unanswered.” — May 7, 2005

“I really don’t like the feeling of denying myself every single time I’m trying hard to suppress my feelings. But I have to do just that in order to ensure that I don’t want to spark any unwanted drama by sticking something “hard-to-swallow” (by the perception of the society, that is)in their throats.” — May 20, 2005

“it does came to me that in times of doubt, some parts of the foundation of our own self perception starts to be …

Chapter 3: May‘05

Time passes
As I am watching
The ebb and flow of life

At times of constant change
I still know deep down
That what’s deep and true will always stay

Horizons broaden when I seek
Wisdom accumulated when I understand
Happiness blooms when I appreciate

As my story continues to unfold
I will continue my dance and song
As I continue wander around my life journey

Chapter 4 — The Awakening

December 2005

Deep asleep…
All this while
I was hushed gently
that it’s time to wake up

Never easy
To open up
My whole being trembling
Knowing everything will change completely

It’s never
An easy journey
Where hope and pain
Intertwined together as one entity

Finally realised
How to live…
That I can’t be
Staying in the …