I think I’m too attached to that someone whom I don’t even know whether it is possible to be together with. (or in other words that I liked someone too deeply) As much as I would acknowledge the fact that it has been a while I felt this way and this is definitely not the first time.

Not sure whether is it that I’m malnourished in this department…

Probably I’m dwelling in the past? Somehow I’m currently feeling pessimistic as I’m worrying whether I would never be able to share a deeper connection with a special somebody. Either I’m just human or that I’m ego-centric… sigh as if there’s actually a way to tell what the future holds.

But somehow I noticed that things were going …

How important is “meaning” in our own daily life? That’s what I’m thinking now as I was feeling sort of demotivated in whatever I’m doing now. Or rather should I ask, do everything that I do really need to have “meaning” behind it? (well… either way would do)

Ever experience times when you are extremely motivated of something because of a certain reason, and only to realise that either that particular something wasn’t as important as you think, or probably worse, that you are just deluded? And by further deduction that you ended up with a conclusion that everything (or at least things that, by your own perception, mattered the most) that you thought was important wasn’t actually the case? Well… in a way, that’s how I feel in …

Let me just summarize my current life in a whole (which pretty much covers how I think and felt during the past few week - months):

Of working life:

It’s really hard to say whether I’m happy or not, to be honest, but so it seemed that I’m starting to have some dissatisfaction on my own. Not really sure whether it’s because I took up something that over-exceeds my “acceptable” workload… but what indeed happened is that my comfort zone was completely destroyed. I’m still particularly getting used to communicating with other people, which is still stressing me out for some reasons (because I’m anti-social or something?).

So… currently it’s not particularly a good sight, at least from my own point of view, I’m starting to get overly …

If you opened your heart to everything in the world, what will you see…?

I wonder whether is it that I went shopping late or something, apparently it just seemed to me that male fashion is getting boring all of a sudden. I’m not sure whether is it because that I’m starting to become picky when it comes to clothes or that clothes for men has always been that boring, I just can’t seem to find T-shirt designs that was special, in a way. Or probably it’s only me didn’t go to more stores or that I can’t seem to find the right clothes that matches the impression that was in my mind. (to be honest, I don’t have any fixed ideas on my head, I usually just depends on my instincts in some way… as long it sort of give out …

What can be more boring than spending the whole Christmas reading? Well, that’s what I’m planning to do, really.

Or should I get out to resume my gym routine and finish my shopping for 2007…? But I think either way, it doesn’t really matter that much, as long I have fun in one way or the other, isn’t it? 😊 But seemed like I’m got used to being with myself? Hmm… guess that’s something on how different people look at the situation, I’d probably feel that it might be a bad thing if I’m in a lousy mood 😆 (well… based on my own observation in the past, anyway).

Probably I might as well complete my shopping later instead of having that thought dangling in my head :).

Anyway, it …

If there really exist such a thing as “reincarnation”, given a choice, will you want to be reincarnated…?

Phew… shopping is so tiring… but probably it’s due to the fact that I bought my books first and have them in my bag? ^^||

Anyway, been spending more money on books this year, and recently I just got more books on investment. I sort of wonder whether if I would be much better off if I got a library membership instead. -_-||

And so… it’s time for me to shop for 2007. Well… I wonder whether that pretty much implies that I rarely buy clothes and stuff ^^||. Well… I can’t find myself having occasions that I require a wardrobe full of clothes, so mine is just decent enough that it would embarrass myself, I guess. But even saying so, I only realise that things can be pretty expensive when I buy them …

It’s a very unproductive day today as I find myself slowing my pace down a little, but probably also due to the fact that it’s our department’s Christmas celebration today :). And as usual, we had Domino’s pizzas and our gift exchange event going on :). Nothing extremely shocking or surprising this year, but seems that we had more laughs this time. Among those crazy gifts were:

• A wall mirror
• A dart board
• A weighing scale
• A doll house… mind you that it’s a guy who is receiving it 😛

Guess I’m in a holiday mood or some sort. Definitely needed the rest I will be having (if nothing happens, that is :p).

Other than that, I just sorted out my financial plans for next years (more like my expenses plan, though …

虽然真正需要的是“长久”的幸福，但是会渴望想象的却是那霎那的心跳。

为什么会这样想呢？或许有些东西就是那么难捉摸吧，只懂得一些容易感觉到的东西吧！

Although what I really want is a “long lasting” happiness, but all this while I’m only able to desire and fantasize that momentary heartbeat.

Why I thought that way? Probably it’s because that there’s some things that is that hard to understand and get hold of, only knowing the things that are more easier to understand and feel.