… I mean, the things that surrounds me seemed to like to pick this few days to fail or break down.

At work, the phone system and email system decides to act up, and imagine work without email (which is the main communication channel in our company): it can either be heaven (e.g. YES! I don’t have to get bothered with work related communications for a while) or a complete nightmare (e.g. OMG!!! There’s a few urgent mails that I have to send out!!!)

Then the KL Monorail had a technical difficulty today which makes us wait for at least 30 minutes for a train to arrive, and trains that resembled packed sardine tins are definitely not comfortable (nor was the sea of commuters on the platform waiting at a hot afternoon …

Just keeping things short, at the moment I’m finding myself facing the worst enemy in my life: myself. Struggling with the challenges in work and my personal life is never easy, as much as I hate to admit that. And through these I saw the weaker, incapable and immature side of myself, something that I hate to see the most… yet I have to accept these shortcomings and try my best to overcome them was really a test of endurance and will power.

In times like this… is it OK for me to give up? But it’s never going to solve anything but only to drive myself away and running away from life…

At the moment I was at a loss of what to do at the moment… or at least what I …

強い絶望の気持ちを持って、”諦める方がよかった”と思います。

欲しいのものは持っていない、大切なものも覚えて出せない。そんなに厳しくて、戦争みたいの世界と考えて、打ち勝つことができるか?

OK, that’s a beat-around-the-bush way to say “sexuality”, recently these words sort of swirled over my head and probably thinking that it might worth pondering about. They are:

• Never flaunt your alternative sexual preferences, not everyone needs to know that detail
• Assume all guys were straight unless stated otherwise

Pretty much at the moment I’m keeping it to myself, or rather since I find it hard to be attracted by strangers and I didn’t really paid notice to the people around me (I think I mention this some time before), I never really showed any signs. And bring the defensive issue into the picture, in a way I’m trying hard (unconsciously) to keeping myself away from appearing in any gay-dars. Mostly not wanting to attraction of those with a testosterone overdose …

Hmm… probably it’d been better if I had written my experience down in a diary or something while I’m travelling, somehow it just felt different when I’m trying to write this trying to jog back my memories weeks ago. But anyway, here’s my recollection of my travels.

So, basically, the whole journey revolves around Phonm Penh, Kompong Thom and Siem Reap. And that noon of 13 May, there’s quite a lot of small bumps, especially the fact that I’m late, turning back half way on the road to get my forgotten camera and rushing into checking in… but still I manage to get to the Low Cost Carrier Terminal (LCCT) on time :). So the whole troupe consist of myself, Yuan Hui (my colleague), his boyfriend, his brother and five …

Just got this up: The (excerpted) photo album of my Cambodian trip. It’s pretty impossible for me to post the whole album up considering it’s a 2.5GB monster and flickr impose the view limit to 200 most recent photos. These were a selection that I mashed up within minutes, probably will add more (if I feel like it, that is). But these were the highlights (i.e. the most beautiful set), so hope you enjoyed them.

Will be typing my travel log (most likely to be short) later, as I desperately need to go to bed. And probably I’d post my photos over to Picasa Web Album, but that’s for next time.

And, yeah, stitching panoramic shots were really a royal pain. I pretty much end up touching up and …

It’s the BookFest @ Malaysia again, which is going to be held from today until 3 June 2007. Carrying mostly Chinese books from China, Hong Kong, Taiwan and South East Asia, it also have English books, stationery and CD/DVD, all with attractive discounts!

… which is bad news to my credit card ^^||.

And so our parade consists of Jacob, Elaine, Theen Gee and his girlfriend and I. For one thing I didn’t knew Theen Gee and Jacob worked in the same company, which is pretty much my mistake of not asking Jacob for the details when he first started working ^^||||. (moral of the story: Don’t assume)

Anyway, throwing myself into a book fest pretty much equates to a kid being throw into candy land. And five big exhibition halls of the Kuala Lumpur …

Still busy getting all those panoramic photos stitched up before I post everything about my Cambodian trip ^^||. Been spending the whole evening getting those photos right (although the stitching process is done by a program, I still have to touch up all those spots that does not blend well), and I still have to do some more of them.

Anyway, share with you this one that I have done today (just a small scaled version of it), which I captured a rain cloud when I was at the Tonle Sap Lake in Cambodia.

I’ll post a proper update once I’m done with those photographs.

In other news, I’m back in the office and our department just got a new graphic designer, Seon. Will be working with him soon as he will be …

Touched down on Malaysian soils at 2:10pm today. Pretty much the rest of the day was get my stuff organized before I get myself worked up in this dimension… er, country? 😛

My Cambodian travel log is not going to happen today as it’s going to be a long one (and I haven’t transferred my 2.5GB of pictures in my hard drive). Will write about it this week ;).

Till then, I need to head to bed and adjust my life cycle.

Will be flying to Cambodia tomorrow, assuming that I won’t have time to access the Internet, I’ll be cut off from modern communication channels during the trip.

Will update with photos once I reached home, probably after Tuesday (would likely to rest when I finally touched down).