已经开始放弃了忘掉你的念头了。就在你拒绝了我，逃避着我的那天起，其实已经有了讨厌你的念头。一开始不就是这样吗？感觉来的那一天起，或许就已经不是单纯“喜欢／讨厌”的问题，而是又是喜欢又是讨厌的难堪了。就是因为太在乎你了，太喜欢你了，所以永远都不会原谅你了。

你在我心中的地位早已经无法磨灭了。

已经开始放弃了和你同在的梦想了。究竟选择权不是完全在我掌控之中，你喜欢不喜欢我是你天生俱来的权力。要是打开你的心扉的钥匙不在我那儿，狂乱的袭击你的大门或许有点乱来吧！所以也要尽自己所能去寻找吧！

就算最终伴随的不是你。

已经开始放弃了总有一天会坚强起来的诺言了。我会的东西只是逞强而已，真正的坚强我根本都不懂。逞强到来，你和另一个她的幸福的传闻偏偏就是我的致命伤。

还是生活过得自然好些吧！

或许那一天的到来已经不再重要了吧！就这样继续上路，学习看看身边的风景…默默地期许。

Remember the fact that although our surroundings can impose anything on us, the only perpetrator of having our souls envenomed is ourselves: the concussion made from our very own perception through all our senses.

- the undivided and undiscriminating -

At the moment the “territory” that used to be occupied by myself alone now has two new temporary (?) “inhabitants” (???!!! ^^|||) now: my cousin Jin is staying in the guest room next to mine and my sister now occupying the second bed in my room.

Meaning, less personal space for myself? But honestly speaking most of my time was spent outside, so probably it doesn’t really matter, except for some… well, trivial inconveniences? cough cough 😛

But thinking in another perspective, at least for the time being my aunt have some company from the two. Thinking that way, that’s a good thing.

Every choice we made reflects the amount of possibility and responsibility that we are willing to undertake.

And therefore what’s really important, is to be aware our own path and decide how we are going to treat whatever that’s provided within ourselves and without of the surroundings we are in.

- Ripples of life -

君といっしょうにの記憶は眩しくて、きれいで、忘れたくない。でも、時間が渡ると同時に、そのきれいなものを少しずつしぼんでいる。

そのものが全部消えてなったら、どうするかな。

- いつもの祈り -

Every single passing moment, everybody is always influencing something, causing the never-ending cycle of cause and effect.

This, is the nature of energy itself.

- The world -

Hmm… where I was these days? Well, every day seemed normal except for yesterday which I was volunteering for the 2007 Buddhist Cultural and Art Festival :).

But the main thing is that these days I’m pretty much in my reflective mood, but somehow I just felt as if I’m living in a completely separate dimension. Was I completely alienated by others? Or that my life is lacking any sort of meaningful human interaction? Not sure whether is it really a problem… I mean, life does lack a lot of colours when there’s no human interaction and connections, but yet… it’s not really a life and death situation, it’s more like… how should I put it… How much soul nutrients does one really need? From a normal standpoint, the current situation …

什么是幸福？
什么是自由？
难道一切顺着自己的意愿是幸福吗？
 难道可以毫无顾忌的去做自己想要做的是自由吗？

What is happiness?
What is freedom?
Could happiness be said as having everything following one’s desires?
Could freedom be said as doing whatever we pleased without any reservations?

Sometimes when it comes to the challenges that I’m personally facing now, sort of thinking “Is there something that can be done about it?” or that “It seemed can’t be helped (but to face/avoid it)”. At times I do wonder the “what if’s” from the potential choices that I was given at different point of time. As much the outcome are way beyond my imagination anyway.

If I were not to be able to get the things I wanted from the path that I have chosen, does it make it a bad choice (or a mistake on my part)? Given the experience that I’m having now at that time, would I made a different choice?

It just appeared to me that it’s impossible to make a completely informed choice …

Once a perception is limited to something, that’s the only thing that it’ll be able to manifest itself.