Bloody tempted with the LG KU250 at the moment, what started as a <RM500 hunt ended up me finding out about this, which is one the cheapest 3G phone that can be found in Malaysia with an impressive feature set that I wanted (memory card expansion, Bluetooth, 1.3MP camera… too bad it doesn’t have FM radio but I can live with that). It is RM150 more expensive than my budget but i might well think of as “future-proof” tax hold on to it for another 3 years :).

Originally planned to get it in November as my birthday present, might as well as get it soon to get my shopping list shorter :).

In other news, was currently back into reading self-help books. Can say that I needed the slight push at the back at …

At first when it started, it simply was “To hell with all the shit around”.

Then it was “If there’s a will, there’s a way”.

Now it is “I will work it out somehow”.

Quite a lot of activities going on this week, went to karaoke on Tuesday after work and later on swimming today yesterday. And those were to two days when we tried to race against time to catch the last train… and made it :). (but seriously probably it’d be less stressful if we make sure that we reach the station by 11:15pm).

But anyway, it had been almost a year since I last went to the karaoke lounge to sing my heart out, and Advent sort of came up with the idea of going after work. It’s sort of a sudden arrangement in a way, but in the end it was me, him and Hui Ying who ended up going. And surprisingly the rates were pretty reasonable: we sang for five hours with …

Been having such feelings these days: the feeling that he is yet he is not. Wanting him to take part in a bigger part in my life and yet it comes with its full set of challenges: unmet expectations, disappointments, misunderstanding, the realities that goes against one’s will — things that just passion alone can’t provide a strong motivation to pursue a deeper relationship.

In a way, I wished that it is possible to hit right off the bat and everything will go smoothly (or at least that I felt that I was in control most of the time). Sometimes I just tend to expecting things to be a bed of roses although I know perfectly well the roses doesn’t come without it’s thorns. And knowing even well that things goes both …

Was at my hometown for the past three days: the place that I typically go back to unwind.

Honestly speaking although I was recharged considerably in a physical sense, the idle times that I’m capable to afford by being at my parent’s place really unleashed the demons within me. Well… not really actually “demons”, but more like the internal emotional turmoils that I find myself in: Murkiness of the heart, uncertainty of thoughts and fear of the unknown. As I find myself continuously fighting with myself (i.e. achieving ideals vs. meeting social expectation) over the things that I have been harping on for almost half a decade. Undeniably the greatest blockage at the moment is greatly regarding personal views conflicting my own perceptions: What could I possibly do when I find myself …

Let’s just say that this serves as a reminder for myself :p.

… Finally I got my personal life back this week after managing to get my work done slightly after the deadline, which is a really much needed relief (that I can have my personal time back). But as posted previously, that is completely ruined by the flu that I got since Sunday, even until now some remnants of flu symptoms still remains while my immune system is struggling to fight back. But it was pretty evident that stress is indeed damaging to one’s health, and I’m pretty surprised how much sickness can be put at bay with great determination and keeping tabs with one’s lifestyle choices. But then again, given the possibility, it’s clearly evident that managing one’s workload and time can potentially save myself from having such incidents occurring again …

Caught the typical flu + sore throat = that sucks.

Worse is that now the difference is that it was meaner, bad-er (intended to be grammatically incorrect :p) and had more attitude: instead of being cured after a day or two, it’s already day four the symptoms just became worse. Not to mention that those symptoms cycles through like… sneeze fit for one day, then fever for one day, then coughing like no end on another… and so it goes.

Then there’s the fatigue and phlegm-y coughs, and sore throats aren’t easy to bear.

Blegh. That’s never fun no matter how you look at it.

Anyway, still have to work somehow. But definitely I needed some rest.

From the finite continuously seeking the infinite, that what everyone is doing all the time. From that perspective, everyone is moving in the finite continuum and has yet to reach. Yet does that proves that the infinite does not exists?

Guess that’s an answer to be sought by those who asked.

闭上眼睛，慢慢放开在你们身上搭上的幻影。

就这样重新认识自己吧。

Closing my eyes, letting the illusions being imposed on you all slowly.

And from there let’s try to know who I am myself.