Finally I get round to read my close to 500 LJ entries to reflect back what happened in 2004, so that I can have a summarized account of my own life in 2004. So here it goes 😊 (I think I’ll split it into 12 parts this time, since I can’t possibly squee a few thousand words in on one entry):

January — The Beginning

“It’s always a beginning of everything, and this marks a special one because it’s the first time I ever started a journal in the first place :). ” — January 6, 2004

Main Events

• Started my LJ
• Ahmed being my first online friend over in PPStage and LJ <=D hugz! And still being the best online friend I ever had now
• Bean moving out from my house
• MYPPF being established as …

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Bwee~ The outing is really fun today ^^.

Anyway, we have quite a lot of fun today, and “Meet The Fockers” is really an enjoyable movie, I really enjoyed and laughed myself silly from beginning to the end. Personally I didn’t watch the first movie “Meet The Parents”, but it good to see it able to stand on its own. I really don’t know whether I should laugh or cry with the censorship board though, for laughs I personally don’t know why they put a “U” (suitable for general public) rating for this movie, seeing that there’s really quite (OK, maybe NOT JUST quite) a lot of sexual jokes here and there (well, as much I would say that everything isn’t done explicitly), but I really wanted to cry because some …

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Yeah! New year 2005! 😄

Anyway, just to recap what happened yesterday, I went out with Johnson at around 8 something and pretty much went there to get some rechargable batteries and a nifty new toy for my iPod:

Bwee~ the Phillips BA109 portable stereo which runs on batteries :D, not to mention it’s the cheapest offer that I can get (hey~ for RM70, I’m extremely happy with it). So that means that I can now officially say that now I can bring my music and do the parapara wherever I please, only limited to battery life and strict people/places :). The sound quality sounds is not that power-packed, but then again, for a budget set of speakers, it’s definitely a good buy. Not to mention it runs on batteries~ *echos~* Now all …

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My Story by ayumi hamasaki - Part II

A New Chapter?: Greatful days

“短い夏が終わりを告げる その瞬間も君と迎えよう なんで事ない毎日こそが 何よりも素敵だった知ってるから”

“Mijikai natsu ga owari o tsugeru Sono shunkan mo kimi to mukae you Nan de koto nai mainichi koso ga Nani yori mo suteki datta shitteru kara”

“The short summer is announcing its end I’m willing to welcome this moment with you Because I know all the small, typical things everyday Is much more precious than anything else”

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And so we have now come to the last day of the year, which pretty much serves as a good end for a new year :3. So I would really want to wrap my story with the things that happened today, and my future outlook :). (Hence it’s not a drifting thoughts post anymore :p)

Let’s see…. Actually 2004 …

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My Story by ayumi hamasaki - Part II

[Note: basically it’s a summary of events which I feel was really relevant and I try to keep as much detail preserved as possible without getting myself into typing a 200 page novel. All names are, in most cases, real, since I really don’t feel like hiding them. But I also try to preserve as much anonymity as possible, with respect to those people.

The main reason why I use real names is that… there’s just a lot of words that I wished them to hear but I’m just too afraid to tell them… and I believe through writing is the only way that I’m able to express it out. I don’t know whether all the people which get highlighted in the …

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Gah! For some reasons the Internet is getting REALLY sluggish @_@”. Add the fact that I’m on dialup with makes matters 1000 times worse. Slaps!

Anyway, I’m planning to get the latest distribution of Inkscape now… ;____;. I don’t wanna wait an hour to get it downloaded ;______;.

Here’s another cover art I have done… honestly… it wasn’t much different from the previous design so most probably I would have dump this away. But I do had fun doing the kerning and letter spacing stuff. So I’m still pretty much experimenting the features in Inkscape. Hopefully I’ll go… somewhere with it XDDD.

In other news, all of a sudden someone emailed saying that he really liked my manga site… which I haven’t been maintaining it like… YEARS …

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Originally posted in my university’s forum, but the answers took me quite some time to craft, so I decided to post it here :):

This thread is started by my friend, Steven, BTW:

当女人问你这三个问题时你会怎么回答

1. 你爱我什么？
2. 在什么样情况下你就会不爱我？
3. 假如我与别的男人发生了有性无爱的一夜情 你会怎么做？

My Reply:

哇！真的是很刁难人叻！

我的答案会是如此：

1. 我不能告诉你我爱你“什么”，因为三言两语是不能表达我爱你的一切。若是要我说最珍惜“什么”，我爱你的“ 存在”…
2. 我也不能告诉你“什么情况”下我“不爱”你，因为付出的爱是永远收不回来的。若是要我说“什么情况”下我“ 不能爱你那么多”，就是在我们最不能互相信任的那时刻…
3. …假设性问题我最不敢回答，因为情况天天与众不同。

但若你曾经有过有性无爱的一夜情，若你不在乎，我也不会追究。因为我相信你那时也不想伤害任何 人。

但若你现在有着有性无爱的一夜情…我会觉得很失败…因为我给不到你那一份交和的满足感。

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Translation:

If A Woman¹ Ask You These 3 Questions, How Would You Answer?

1. What do you love about me?
2. In what situation that you’ll not love me?
3. If I were to have a no-strings-attached-one-night-stand (i.e. Only sexual relationship with no love attached to it), what will you do?

My Reply:

Oh GOD! These questions are TOUGH!

My answers would be as …

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Originally this should be a drifting thought post, however all of a sudden while I’m typing it through… the feelings seems to slip away from me. Maybe my own questions are answered? Shrugs I would never know…

[:: Retained Drifting Thoughts: Opening ::]

A constant sky blue thought has been in me… for the past few days… Clouds have been passing through this sky blue atmosphere in my heart, and curious I was to know what’s behind them, I have been constantly looking at them with patience, looking through every single detail of the clouds while I’m hoping that the sky will clear up.

And on the brief moment today that all of a sudden that… there’s no more clouds, just a clear view of the sky blue of my own feelings… Somewhat …

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Just feeling all sky blue as much as there’s nothing happening…

It’s calm and yet it seems to have some sort of ripples on the surface of it. It’s hard to explain that one, just a feeling of serenity…

Maybe I should watch my emotional patterns a bit longer… 😊

Since the “dialup friendly” version of PPN2 is like… 90MB, so I decided to kill the school’s bandwidth instead XDDD. But just before I finish with the download, the lab closes ;_____;.

Ah well, maybe I’ll get it on Monday. shakes fists

And… my Maharaja Hi-NRG Night Revolution 11 CD haven’t arrived yet ;______;. How long should I wait for that… whimpers

[p/s: On a brighter note, eternal dream sucked me in almost instantly :D. Plays it again and again <3333]