In the past, I did mentioned that I do tarot reading, mainly for meditative purpose and to seek guidance. I’ve been doing this practice only for my own benefit for the past eight years and it’s until today that I actually do a reading for a friend.
Doing reading for her meant a big deal with me: there’s always the nervousness that goes when I offer my skills to others for the first time and not knowing what to expect out of it. And the bigger fear that would be not knowing what expectations that I may need to address and the responsibility that comes with giving consultation and advice to others. Despite such doubts, I agreed to it almost instantly and embrace the opportunity.
After all, I’m quite curious of my current capabilities and the new experiences that would come out of this meeting.
A week later, we met in Tony Romas at The Gardens Mall, a restaurant where I suggested to have the reading. I personally picked the place after some contemplation: the dim and warm lights, having segmented partitions between tables and is way less crowded compared to other establishments like Chili’s and TGIF. Thinking that this is the best place I can think of for a private reading. And the food is great so that’s a bonus ;).
Once I settled down on my seat, I took out two decks of cards: Osho Zen Tarot deck and Osho Transformational Tarot deck. I went on to run through my beliefs and relationship with Tarot: that I never believed in fortune telling, and that the Tarot acts as a medium to allow our subconscious to channel messages about our questions through visual imagery and patterns that arises from a spread. And that I’ve been using it as a tool that gives me perspective and guidance.
What happens next is three readings, three hours and a very open discussion of the interpretations of each spread and the issues in question.
And honestly I didn’t expect it to turn out this well and the whole three hours is an eye-opening learning experience for me. Throughout the whole session, I find myself in a calm state — rooting well in the present moment, in the here-now, engaging in conversation while tuning in to the energy flow that emanates off from my friend and the cards themselves. While I relayed the meaning of imagery, I’m tried my best to be totally honest and candid, admitting when I’m unable to decipher something, and being on the alert in distinguishing the message that’s being channelled through me are not from my ego and biases (well… or at least I did my best).
There’s one particular reading which I find confusing and I’m unable to decipher the spread. During that reading, when I’m trying really hard to formulate something out of it, I would feel what I’d describe as a thug on some part of the brain, seeming to tell me that I’m reading too hard into it. As I acknowledge and responded to the cue, I took a mental step back and allow myself to let go of all conscious efforts. Interestingly, the instant I relaxed, my eyes suddenly fall on a particular dimension of the spread, as if I was nudge, or probably led by some unconscious force — and the pieces only started to fall in place.
As we parted ways, I am glad that she told me that she finds it beneficial and gain clarity out of it. It’s too early to tell the effects and I genuinely hope for the best and that she’s able to sought out the answers she’s looking for and take affirmative actions to achieve her goals.
As for myself, it is a testing grounds for my intuitive capabilities and reminded me that I need to be aware of all the cues that my intuition is telling me. And honestly, I would love to do tarot readings for others next time on a pro-bono basis. Honestly, that one big world full of unknowns — well, that’d be an adventure for another day :).