Today’s Drifting Thoughts: Reflecting myself

“不要骗自己，其事你根本没有人生目标。”

Here I am again, dozing off in an imaginary state. Not in boredom, but having my thoughts drift away, pondering about life again. This time round it’s about purpose in life.

From what I can recall from memory, this is one of the more critical questions that I find myself not actually putting much thought or probably has been neglected for quite some time. Come to think about it, I have been living without a clear sense of vision for as long as I remember: it has been mentioned a couple times here that I felt as if I’m a drifting log, deep asleep.

“I wonder…”, I asked, “what have I done for the past 25 years in my life”. Nothing particularly dear to hold on to, memories are all faded as if they were translucent in the backdrop of forgetfulness. Come to think about it, this has been reflected in my persona, and I’m unaware about it until now.

“… as if the soul is as vague as the wisps at night…”

When discussing about this topic, the word “rootedness” came to me all of a sudden. Can’t particularly explain the concept… it felt something like a Zen concept to me. I think probably it’s something like “Only the trees, deeply rooted to the ground, will have it’s branches reaching towards the stars.” Or probably in 7 Habits speak, you needed the solid base of character in order to actually attain your greatest potential and fulfillment.

Sometimes when I meet people that is capable a glimpse of such feeling, I sort of find myself telling myself “… I would love to be someone like that…”

“Sometimes… I wondered…”, I asked again, “… what behind this melancholy, barely visible with its translucent guise yet at times effectively haunts, reminding me the darkness I felt in my deep slumber?”

“If there’s a small light that I’m able to cast to dispell the darkness of my own awareness… what shall I do now…?”

What kind of meaning I could paint onto the canvas of life…?

(to be continued…?)