All the while I have been able to respond to others that “I’m OK, I’m already used to it.” when being asked that question, and later ending the sentence with “Besides, I always have ways to entertain myself.”
Then just recently, this feeling all came back to me again, as if I revisited something that I have long forgotten.
“自己一个人不会闷吗？” (“Aren’t you bored being alone?”) was the question. That’s the Chinese way of asking do you feel lonely.
It has been a month I have moved out to live on my own. Surprisingly life has been pretty pleasant, having my own room in an apartment with a nice night view that looks out towards rows of trees along the main road next to MMU, and being able to see small blips of light across the horizon where Putrajaya is located. The calm and serene surrounding is a complete contrast compared to the hustle and bustle of Kuala Lumpur - which I can easily kick back and relax even while working.
Transitioning to my new working life is also smooth and enjoyable, in which I had been roped into a very friendly group of colleagues which we always went out for lunch together. Hopefully as we get along I’ll be able to get to know them better :)…
“Yet… despite that… why?”
These has been floated in my brain for quite some time as the feeling of loneliness seeps out from the cracks.
“Is this the first time I felt that way?” I questioned myself.
“If that’s the case… is it something that I have been unconsciously contained? Or have I been avoiding the realities of my own emotions all this while…?”
To think that I didn’t picked the name of this chapter in my life wrongly is quite interesting… though I’m not particularly sure whether is it merely coincidence or I have set myself up to a self-fulfilling prophecy ^^||. But to think about it, it’s probably time for me to meet up to this challenge as I find myself being more prepared after having coming through this far. After all, in my own journey of developing and strengthening my own character foundation towards betterment, I have find myself in such cycles which revisits some aspects that I’m unable to face up to in the past.
Guess this will be one of those themes that I’ll be keeping note in the future then.
Or probably I might as well just admit that I might as well start to be a bit more proactive in the dating circle? :lolol: Ah well… we’ll see as times passes 😊