Today’s Drifting Thoughts: At crossroads

I stumble across the [Investopedia’s entry on a description on the term “Fool in the shower”][fool], which is a term that describes “the idea that changes or policies designed to alter the course of the economy should be done slowly, rather than all at once… When the first stimulus is made, the effect may not be immediate, which can cause decision makers to increase the magnitude of the change, eventually causing too much stimulus.” Well, that’s pretty much the situation that I’m in at the moment.

During the past few months, I have been pretty swift in implement more changes in life for the better, opening up myself to bigger plans and possibilities in life. And then I have been experiencing the biggest change in my working environment (or more like I’m anticipating a big change), then the effects of possibility trickles in. And for the past two days I have been overwhelmed by the mere thought of it¹.

Three things are on my mind at the moment: work, love and travel.

Work

These days I have been seriously considering a career change, but sort of held myself back a bit as I was in the opinion that:

1. I just recently finished the development work for a new project and it may have been more responsible to stay back until it was installed
2. Currently I still haven’t really have a goal in terms of career development
3. I’m still unable to evaluate what possibilities and rewards that would come with staying with the company, especially the case after I developed this new project
4. Our performance review falls in either this month or next (funny that we never got any peer review for the month…), and my salary increment will happen in July

Now, this issue became more apparent after I got a call from a headhunter this Friday, now judging from the four points above:

1. Would it be wise to make a career move this year, if not soon? (holding back points: #1 and #3)
2. Should I go for the interview should I get one? (but the problem being point #2 and #4 that it’s a bit hard for me to tell what’s the degree of rewards will be and I couldn’t make a clear-cut comparison at this stage)

Love

For those who did noticed, I’m currently having a strong interest with one guy in my department. Throughout the past few months, I find myself trying to be closer to him, relishing his presence and observing him. However, recently I have been finding myself in some sort of a double bind: finding myself having strong feelings for him but yet unsure (doubting, even) whether I’d really want to be with him, given the possibility. I can’t seem to stick a finger on why I felt that way… if it’s concrete enough to be established as a fact, then I could possibly figure out a decision to resolve it. Do wish me luck in figuring out a path and finally able to seek what does “love” really means.

Travel

I still haven’t decided on where I should go for the [8D/7N stay prize][prize] I won a few months back. Been finding myself in a dilemma: on one hand, I wanted to exploit the opportunity to visit places like Europe; on another, it clashes with my financial goals (read: expensive trip means that it’ll really bang into your savings). Seemed that currently I’m still unable to put my hair down when it comes to dollars and cents, especially if it’s my own. Currently I’m not even sure what I’m going to expect, I haven’t really planned for a trip before myself so it’s pretty frustrating to see myself banging into walls in the process of deciding what I really wanted to get from the trip and setting out the budget and itineraries. Am currently sorting this out and finally settle with three destination choices that I can strongly approve and feel happy about.