Today’s Drifting Thoughts: Toeing the Line

Recently felt as if I’m constantly toeing the line on several things that concerns with interaction with other people. Holding myself back, if I were to put it another way. As much when it comes to dealing with people, usually it’s always a give and take scenario in finding a win-win scenario between both parties, however, when it comes to the “giving in” part, sometimes I just felt having difficulty in finding the justifiable degree of giving in actually. Well… honestly speaking, there’s things that I don’t mind compromising and there’s things that I’m extremely stubborn about. (always in the extreme ends but never in-between?)

However, a lot of times when I personally finding difficulty in convincing people, I’d rather give in than putting up a fight. Especially in cases when I don’t have a strong argument that supports my thoughts. But speaking of which, sometimes I don’t have a strong evidence that I’m right but yet having a perception that I’m right… or at least somewhat right. In a way, when it comes to work that was pretty much in a scientific realm (I’m working as a programmer, so that should constitute as “science” in many ways), this kind of attitude of unfounded perception of being right is always a big no-no. Or more like, something that works doesn’t necessarily means it was right.

…

Well, at the moment I’m still having difficulty in expressing myself verbally, the art of convincing people and knowing when to defend my stand.

“… Feeling as if I’m completely out of place, which strikes the heart so badly I feel like running away…”

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Anyway, letting the previous topic slide, recently I have been going to the movie theaters more than I used to (or rather, for almost like seven years I rarely stepped into the hall). And I went to watch The Simpsons movie last Thursday together with my colleagues. That time I was pretty hesitant to go actually when my “finance nagger” on my head was doing its own thing, but in the end I sort of gave in since it didn’t really affects my game plan anyway. And I’m glad that I enjoyed the movie a lot, I personally could use a lot of humour these days :).

Another small surprise to me being that my vision has improved slightly and my glasses are now slightly overpowered. I sort of knew it for the past few months as I my eyes strained when I’m reading or looking into the LCD monitor: it just felt as if text were dancing around all over and the focus changed frequently (i.e. sometimes blurred, sometimes sharp). Just place an order for a new pair of spectacles and will be picking it up next week :). So that crosses out one item from my previous list.

But somehow looking at the price I bought the specs now, I was thinking if I’m going to change my glasses once per year¹, I might as well get contact lenses since the price is pretty close these days. Guess I have to wait and see until next year, if my vision improves/degrade on a yearly basis, I’d happily try contacts out.

At the moment I was planning to cross one out from the list every month, I’m undecided whether to get the shoes first or the mobile phone next month. Frankly speaking I was extremely tempted to get a camera phone, but having a pair of comfortable shoes that fit was also a desirable thing to me. So it’s like between an impulse versus comfort. Likely to be impulse to prevail in the end, but I just have to wait.

I think I’d leave the shirts until December (which is also the Malaysia Mega Sale month). Then the Nintendo DS Lite would have to wait until next year, I guess. But not extremely inclined into gaming these days, so it’s much less an issue anyway.

But GAH! I still haven’t had my house buying game plan in place yet >_<||. Well… things will fall into place when the time comes, I guess. Till then, I guess I still have to study like mad. 😛