Today’s Drifting Thoughts: Raw Feelings

A lot of times, I just sat down there and just trying to figure out all those raw signals within me: subtle physical signs, raw emotions and feelings. And there are quite a few of these sensations that I can’t figure out the what’s and why’s, I did wondered whether I should be visiting a doctor instead ^^||.

Somehow at the moment I’m trying to look deep into my own sexual dimension at the moment, trying to observe my own senses and sensuality. The subtle things behind my sexuality, so to speak. I was wondering about the seeking the “depth” within from sexual experiences, I don’t really know how to explain this, but it seemed possible, or probably that I’m seeking it actually, a so-called… say, “spiritual penetration” (for lack of a better term) through sex. Or so to speak, the (at least my own imaginary?) “highest possible peak”, the real orgasm. Or probably putting this in a down-to-earth description would be that both energies becomes synchronous and harmonise with each other: when two became one. Something like that feeling, I assume… considering that I never experience that, everything was just my own imagination at the moment, actually.

Somehow I can’t seem to shake it off that “love” was one of the keys to it… whatever “love” may be (as in I’m not sure my current views of “love” fits into the actual truth, in other words whether my perception and views are correct).

I did wondered whether I made myself sound weird somehow ^^||.