Today’s Drifting Thoughts: Pessimistic

Just feeling a bit pessimistic today over the possibility that the users are giving another chance at the system that used to be under my care last year. Not exactly sure why… is it because I don’t have confidence in the system, or that I don’t have confidence within myself. It seemed more so like the latter than the former, and probably I’m a bit anxious as well… probably fear would be a better word.

Well… that’s something that I have to overcome. I really wondered whether I really learnt my lessons for the past few years, it just feels as if not only I’m not progressing, I’m deteriorating in many ways.

Thinking about it, actually there’s a few issues that I start to notice that I’m avoiding in some way or the other. Pretty much in a way you can say that I closed myself in. So at the moment I’m starting to question myself a lot… which is not a easy thing to endure to be honest. After all, doubting oneself and admitting to shortcomings were never easy. Not to mention improving for the better or taking actions. But that’s something that needs to be done, I guess?

Just hope that I’ll manage it.