Today’s Drifting Thoughts: Moving Ahead

There’s a lot of times that I ponder “… What if I’m not able to attain/obtain (something)…?” It sort of funny as most of the time, I didn’t need that particular “something” if only survival is concerned; in a way most of the times that particular “something” was actually a luxury (in any form, physical, emotional or even spiritual). But… I don’t know, I think I had said this before, if all it is to it to living is just merely “survival”, probably there’s aren’t really any “meaning” to live. Yet what does “meaning” really “means”? How much “weight” does it hold? How “valuable” will it be? Probably the answer will be different for everybody, but I had the impression that it only had “value” in the moments of pursuit, once it’s obtained or understood, or that we gave up in pursuing it, it will never hold any “meaning” in us anymore (wait? There’s “meaning” in “meaning” itself? Hmm… that’s pretty recursive :p).

Sometimes just felt that language and our trains of thoughts are such beautiful yet delicate things :).

Anyway, coming back to Earth, been spending time re-ripping my DVDs again. Somehow I just have to urge to improve myself to get just the right setting needed to make a high quality backup :). But that also pretty much means that I have to do everything all over again X_X. Haha, I wonder, it was indeed a time wasting activity, yet I enjoyed it somehow :).

Still nothing spectacular in my life at the moment, most of my time actually spent is tinkering with stuff and reflect a lot of myself. Currently I still find exploring and understanding deeper into my own sexuality issues and my own perceptions and values towards it are pretty much… umm, sensitive, I’d say. ^^|| When dealing with something from a physical perspective, the feelings and emotions can be very intense, in a way. I’m not sure whether is it really OK for me to open that Pandora’s box ^^||.

Anyway, that’s all for the moment.