Today’s Drifting Thoughts: Disprove & Invalidate

Not in a good mood today, things just seemed a bit bleak to me. Somehow been thinking, there’s quite a lot of things and arguments that I have been thinking, which through logical deduction and piecing together various pieces of my own memory and experience seems to disproves and invalidates the existence of positive things. And that all the good, beautiful, positive things that I knew may as well be a fallacy on its own. Probably in another way of putting it is that whatever pleasures that come through our senses, once looked into deeply, was nothing more than just a temporal satisfaction of our own desires and only a validation of our own egos and expectation.

But yet, despite that, I also come to a mutual contradiction in which I knew and experienced unknown happiness, fulfillment and beauty: probably just a mere glimpse and brush on it. Somehow I was confused on that part… is it really what I experienced before? Or I lead myself to believing that this has happened? Or is it that actually these experiences fall into the same category of the former, but only having its pleasure elevated because that I’m unable to grasp it?

But then there’s another logical loophole… if really, everything in the world are illusory and it consist of complete pain and despair (as implied by the previous arguments), then there’s no possibility of a completely contradictory experience (i.e. happiness, fulfillment and beauty): then the “negative perceived experiences” will prevail and that would be a “depressing” “truth”. If that’s the case, what’s the missing piece of the puzzle: the very truth that would answer the question and hence crumble all previous arguments? What is the true “happiness, fulfillment and beauty” may really be…? Do notice the quoted marks, as it was purely my “perception” which may have my “judgement” mingled with them due to “associations with the past”.

…

OK, that was my intellectual babble that was running in my brain at the moment.