Human Touch

Seh Hui Leong


Just came back from Uncle Francis’ place just now, thanks to a very, very last minute invitation from Aunt Hong (both relatives from my mother’s side). Pretty much the main reason is my cousin, Jason, came back from Australia and, to be extremely honest, when Aunt Hong called me and told me about it, I can’t seem to recall who’s Jason. Probably due to the fact that he had been in Australia for the past four years and even when he’s back in Malaysia during Chinese New Year, his appearance is so brief that I never really get to know him well.

And it’s like… UNTIL I reached the place, see him in person that I recall that cute boy as I remembered when I was pretty much a kid or teenager. ^-^|| And gosh how much he had grown up! Probably that proves the fact that I haven’t seen him for years.

And, since he was in Australia all this while, he mainly converse with us in English… with native English accent (not particularly sounded Aussie, but more proper, normal English without any distinctive accent). (In case anyone wondered why I made this remark, the language I mainly used is either Chinese or “Manglish”, Malaysian English, as in) Good thing is that all it takes is just some adjustment on my part to get my hearing and understanding in sync, at times I do find myself stopping mid-sentence to picking the right words (pretty much the same way I write blog entries: I tend to pick my words and crafted my sentences carefully, which sometimes take some time for me to process it in my brain).

It’s good thing that we manage to get along and communicate with each other, to me it’s a good sign. Somehow I do wonder something about human relations: it’s like, considering that I didn’t really reach out to people much (calling old friends, acquaintances, relatives and the like), probably I have lost touch with a lot of people? I don’t know how to really express this really, it seemed that I can’t find anyone whom I can really relate to in a deeper level, my family included. There’s always seemed to have some sort of separation between myself and the people around me. Warming up with them is easy, but seems that relating would probably takes more effort and time to cultivate it?

Or probably I’m asking too much as in having the relationship that pretty goes in sync with each other in order for myself to say that I’m having a deep relation with someone. But thinking about it, it was a bit scary :p. But sometimes I do have that sensation of being on the same wavelength several times, so I think it’s possible. And it’d be interesting if I were to find that kind of person in my life :).

Anyway, I never knew Jason’s mom (damn I’m bad with names ._.||) cooks well! The grilled salmon she prepared tasted so good, yum! 😄 I really wanted to cook as well as her… if I ever picked up cooking, that is ^^|||. I don’t know, but probably I would really start to do so when I really moved out to live on my own.

In other news, these days I’m pretty much busy doing some financial planning: learning about the stock market, real estate (pretty much I’m shopping for my future home) and investing as well as planning my expenses for my Cambodia trip. Yes, I’m going for a Cambodia trip this May, which means it’d be the first time I visited a foreign country :). It would be a great experience to me in many ways :). But budgeting within this 3-4 months is definitely painful. My room for mistakes is small at the moment and I have spent too much this month =_=||. That means that I have to go the extra mile for the next few months.

And yes, I’m still coping well emotionally as well as figuring out my next step relationship wise. I don’t really a fixed idea yet, which means there’s a lot of room for some flexibility on my part. But… well, finding that “deep” connection (see descriptions above) is a challenge by itself, so I don’t mind taking a longer time, but it can be frustrating when nothing seemed to work ^^||. Somehow I still have to live with the possible worst case scenario that I’ll never find it. But it’s OK… that’s part of my life-long experimentation.

Better prepare myself for the busier years ahead.

Written by

Seh Hui Leong

Python programmer by trade, interested in a broad range of creative fields: illustrating, game design, writing, choreography and most recently building physical things. Described by a friend as a modern renaissance man.