Today’s Drifting Thoughts: The Dire Need

I think I’m too attached to that someone whom I don’t even know whether it is possible to be together with. (or in other words that I liked someone too deeply) As much as I would acknowledge the fact that it has been a while I felt this way and this is definitely not the first time.

Not sure whether is it that I’m malnourished in this department…

Probably I’m dwelling in the past? Somehow I’m currently feeling pessimistic as I’m worrying whether I would never be able to share a deeper connection with a special somebody. Either I’m just human or that I’m ego-centric… sigh as if there’s actually a way to tell what the future holds.

But somehow I noticed that things were going on like a repeating pattern… as in suffering the same kind of pain but in different varieties and situations. Is it that I can’t really change the programming of how I handle the things around me? Or that I’m too stubborn or ignorant to change?

… Things weren’t as easy as it seemed… not sure how long this would continue before I find a resolution… Wished that there’s some clues for me to solve things out a little. But probably that’s something that I have to search within myself, I think.