Today’s Drifting Thoughts: Six Months from Now…

Been through a total breakdown yesterday (see previous impromptu post) and it lasted until this morning: I just felt like a very upset kid unable to get what he wanted. Mostly its just my pent up dissatisfaction in life broken loose… on work (stress levels picking up at a level that I cannot cope), life (the emptiness issue), myself (disappointed by the fact that I’m not progressing at all) and love matters (just it appears… or perhaps may be the fact that chances of me getting together with the one I really liked at the moment is slim. Or probably I just desperately wished that he wasn’t all that stoic).

Somehow I only managed to cheer up thanks to Yuan Hui (my colleague). Thinking about it, I was pretty much being coaxed like a little kid then… Not sure how should I see myself now ^^||. Does show that very immature side of myself, really. (probably that’s something the people around me noticed but I’m just unaware of it?)

Currently my “support pillars” were crumbled… don’t ask me what that “support pillars” were, but it’s likely to be my own expectations, dreams and fantasies. Probably it wasn’t as critical that I thought it were to be… or something that crucial, for that matter… seeing that I’m doing fine now… or at least I think I’m fine now.

…

Anyway… there are a few changes that I really had to anticipate at the moment. My aunt’s daughter is going to sell the house in which I’m living now, that pretty much means that my aunt and I will be moving out at June next year. So at the moment I had two choices in this respect: either to continue staying with her, or that I move out to live on my own. My aunt told me that I can still stay with her, and she’d be finding a place where public transportation is convenient. But somehow I have had the thought of living on my own some time, just I’m a bit unsure whether should it be sooner or later… It’s pretty much a question of where my comfort zone lies, really.

Thinking about it now, probably that means some planning on my part… especially when it comes to my own expenses. Some plans of mine have to shift around, I think… it’s kinda hard for me to decide at the moment. I’m sort of toying the idea of buying an apartment lot of my own or something for quite some time, not really sure when’s the best time to execute it, for one thing… Well, I just have to see how things falls into place…

… Seems that there’s much changes in my own life now that I have figure out a lot of things… We’ll see how I will handle them in due time.