Today’s Drifting Thoughts: Of Responsibility and Stress

In a world often being perceived as black and white, probably my “gray area” approach and views in life was both a blessing and a curse? As much as I knew the joys of openness, the troubles is to be understood as well.

Or probably it wasn’t a problem but that I was less firm and confident when it comes to assert what I want from others and drawing the solid line? Probably I wouldn’t that much job related stress now if I were to be discuss my role and responsibility and iron out the details when I was first offered something new to work on. Now I find myself stumped and confused when it comes to what am I supposed to do about handling the new system.

Sometimes I just felt that I have lugged most of the stuff onto myself… and dealing with my own discomfort when it comes to communicating with a whole range of different people can be stressful when problem arises. Somehow I wonder where the line of my stress tolerance level lies…? Do feel like snapping several times, to be honest -_-|||.

Is it that my own tendency to avoid heavy responsibilities and pesky petty troubles backfires at me? Dealing with my own fears, avoidance issues and shortcomings can be so hard to bear, as much as I know it was important for my own growth. It’s almost like the times when I was to be persuaded to eat my veggies or take my medicine when I was a kid -_-|||. That sort of struggle, I think ^^|||.

sigh… Not really sure what to deal with this kind of fear and anxiety… Probably I’m blowing my own problems out of proportion…