Close Lost

Seeing the lack of updates for the past week, I definitely owe an update.

It had been a heavy week for myself, most shocking news is about my brother: he had a serious case of lung collapse, which happened all of a sudden on Tuesday. Originally it wasn’t that bad until late at night that the condition had became critical, and he had to go through a dangerous operation and was warded into ICU after that.

It was a very desparate two days (Tuesday and Wednesday) and everyone was worried sick. Facing the possible death of someone close is definitely not something anyone would have prepared for and would want to face. Especially when that person is only 22 years of age.

I can’t do much during that time, to be honest. It’s like, I rushed back home and all I can do is either visiting him in the hospital or stay at home waiting for the news.

But the good news is that he’s recovering fast. He’s still on minimal life support equipment, but his days in the ICU would be over in a few days if everything’s going well. Then he’ll be transfered to a normal ward for about a week or two before dispatching him back home.

Just hoping for his speedy recovery and that everything will be fine later on.

In other news… During those days my heart really felt out of place and was split into two. And emotionally I’m not feeling well… I’m under the impression that I’m getting cold shoulders from the one I liked. Don’t know what I should feel or do, really… by all means, it isn’t something that can be demanded or anything. And that even it is done intentionally, I understand the reasons for it… or at least if typical answers and reaction apply.

To be honest I really felt at a loss… sometimes a very deep yearning for love and kindness can become such a dire thrist that… it’s very hard to cope with, it just feels as if I’m dying inside. The understood fact that loving touches, words and actions is not something that you catch but something you sow and harvest becomes so… hard to understand in its spirit.

… It’s still something that I will and need to go through… Hope everything’s OK by then :(.