Today’s Drifting Thoughts: Rainy Day

The weather has been extremely unpredictable lately, it’s like… one moment it scorching hot, then you get to see clouds that makes the city looked eerily like the cursed land of Mordor and soon after you get rain so heavy that it really made the rain looked like curtains.

And with the recent developments in life, my emotional scale still remain as unstable, as much as everything is improving at the moment. These days just seemed that… I don’t know, I kinda lose some balance in life that I get disappointed more easily by obstacles in front of me.

As much as I understand that the only person whom is to be responsible for my own life and its problem is myself, but yet at times I really wanted someone just hold me on by the hand or something…

I don’t know, as far as I understand myself, I have much more strength and potential than I can imagine, yet it seems that I’m still keeping myself at the minimum. What is the thing that I’m still clinging on unnecessarily? What is the thing that I’m holding back? Somehow through my own journey up until now, it just seems that all this while, I have been resolving and finding closure in a lot of past events: starting from the most recent downwards.

And seeing from that perspective… I’m have worked on my recent past and am starting to go back to some time back to my own teenage and childhood days, which is one of the most hardest strings to untangle at the moment. Thinking back, it really deals with a lot of social conditioning from my family, relatives and parents: the people most closest to me.

… And to think of breaking those chains… I just have that foresight that it’s not going to be easy… and extremely painful as it really goes to the roots. Not to mention making sure that no injury is going to be done is just… well, hard.

I don’t know, most likely I’d be exploring those territories… trying to get in touch with the inner child in me… with initial hesitance, I suppose…?

…

Anyway, in other news, my family is moving into our new home, and as far as I read from my sister’s blog, it seems that she liked the new place :). I’m sure I’ll be liking it when I get back home the next time. And as for my brother, he’s now in Kulim, having his industrial training at Intel. I’m hoping that this is going to be a great learning experience to him.

I think that’s about it.