Today’s Drifting Thoughts: Frame of Time, Frame of Reference

Steven (one of my best friends in university) came and stayed overnight yesterday. It did made me feel that time flies so fast ever since I started work in May and graduated in August, and him being at Singapore for quite some time (he went there to work between that period).

Catched up with a lot of stuff with him and apparently he have been through quite a lot in life… sparing all details, a lot of current issues was brought up pertaining to love, trust, respect, duty, sexuality, parent-child and much more was been discussed and pondered deeply.

Relating to my impromptu post, it’s like… it’s pretty much a very big question to be really pondered, actually. Being through all the life’s ups and downs, it does seems that from a certain perspective, love can be something that is indirectly “tangible” and “possessable”. Thinking it through, it really made me think very hard: what “love” really is?

And through what we have discussed about our own life, it really gave me a completely different perspective in terms of this: That two persons in a relationship might as well be only at a stage of a “relationship” but not really “love; and that what we perceive as “love” might turn out to be really ugly to become “hate”. As much as it is easy to say that love and hate are of opposite polarities, somehow in a very, very subtle way, it does seems that these two completely different polarities are actually of the same root or type.

Having experienced with different situations in my own life, it does seems to me that… a “relationship” seems to be like… shallow: that it isn’t “love” in its completeness; but only an illusion, an arrangement between two persons… just a plain belief that there’ll be fulfillment of something in being together. It’s more of a beginning of understanding, a door towards love but not actually love.

So… from that perspective, what is love in its purest and full form…? Thinking about it, the question seems pretty is mundane, to be honest. 😊

… Coming to trust, well… personally I believe that it’s really not a matter of expecting the other will trust you fully, that trust is not to be a means to be used but a just an unintentional by-product. Sometimes expecting that trust is needed to make things work really makes things even worse, causing a lot of backlash because when the concept of “trust” between the two is there, there arise the concept of “doubt”.

That’s just my observation, I believe ^-^||.

…

And coming to the ahem sexuality issue (again :p), somehow I just.don’t.understand why this issue was to be stirred everytime I come to very honest terms in explaining my own worldview. Put the previous sentence in another way, it always seems that my own belief that “Love knows no boundaries” always pales in comparison to my own sexuality which is more “tangible” and “can be seen by others”. Yes, it is fact that I have more crushes guys than girls, which really make my homosexuality much more prevelant than my own claimed bisexuality.

As much as I do understand that this kind of behaviour does upset and disappoint people, and probably causing some outrage in some.

That always made me come to a laughing confusion on making disclosure :p.

But anyway, it’s something that’s shouldn’t be shunned, I guess :).