Restart: Real-Life Version

Real life update 😛 (Gosh, gotta to do more of these these days 😊 ), which give some background information about how the thoughts came from.

Anyway, it’s back to work, and the stress is creeping back at me. Well… I wouldn’t call it stress because it’s much more self inflicted than real stress. You know, being a bit of a perfectionist + control freak can really grate my nerves… you know, seeing things doesn’t go what I have planned it to be, worrying that if someone would get upset or that if I get screwed, and the thing about “conforming to one’s performance standard”… those kinds of things.

It really scares me because some of the “worst case scenarios” in my head can get more than just… umm, scary :p.

However, somehow I’m starting to become more aware and I’m starting to witness my own thoughts, emotions and actions. Then I started to notice a lot of things, especially times when I get so egoistic, extremely insecure or emotionally driven I started to react to defend myself. It seems that I’m starting to see my own shortcomings especially in terms of interacting with other people.

Guess sometimes living in my own little world does make me a little bit insensitive to my own surroundings XD.

But anyway… does seems that there’s bound to be more mistakes and I have to go through all the lessons in life. But I don’t really feel that bad about it, I’m just excited and grateful… and it did give me the “back to school” kinda feeling.

The scary part is to face embarrassment and some injuries along the way. That’s part of the process of growing up, I guess ;).