Fragile

Emotional breakdown today, literally.

The happiness of one time can really bring contrast to the times when we are suffering from low emotions. Sometimes beautiful imaginations will become nightmares, especially when I realised that reality is a complete different picture in what’s in my head. Sometimes, as much as I know that things takes its own course and I have to be patient, yet sometimes I get very frustrated as progress seems to be so subtle that I have no signs of knowing where am I now.

It really scares me that strong feelings towards someone sometimes turns into possessiveness - that I can become really jealous, that I feel the strong urge of not letting go, that I’m capable to bring hurt and pain to the one that I cared a lot. Is it a fear of losing? A fear of repeating the pain that I have gone through? Or is it a form of suppression…?

Feelings started to get stronger, day by day, yet words and feelings never get to reach its destination.

… Is it I’m patiently waiting for a sign from you… or is it that hiding away in the dark with my own fears…?