Today’s Drifting Thoughts: Parallel

Just feeling like jotting down what I felt this morning:

1. 心中那份对你的思念，似乎膨胀到让我感觉到心跳的痛楚。是无法对你倾诉的关系吗？一向来对你的暧昧似乎一直都吞了下去。

   才发现原来心情也可以让自己呛到。

   That thought of missing you, seems to have expanded to a point when I can feel the pain in every heartbeat. It is because I’m never able to express it? All the while I have been swallowing down my tenderness for you.

   Only I notice that emotions can also make myself choke.

2. 那份不成熟的胆怯，到现在都还没克服到，所以仍然在那段距离地望着你…所以依然还是进不到去你那小小的世界。

   Even now, I haven’t been able to conquer that immature feeling of anxiousness, and that’s why I’m still standing from afar seeing you… that’s why I will never be able to enter that small world of yours.

3. 有时觉得受不了心中那个颤动：是自己不甘寂寞吗？是不甘心永远只是和你走在对面的平行线？

   只能永远用双手抱着一份幻想吗？好像一直都是让自己活在不真实的存在…其实这种不实在的安全感，我已经受够了——受不了了！

   那一霎那间…爱的定义，我真的是完全不懂了…

   Sometimes I can’t stand that violent beating of my heart: Is it that I despise being alone? Is it that I don’t like seeing that I can only walk in that parallel path opposite to you?

   Is it that I can only use my arms to embrace a fantasy forever? It does seems like I’m always letting myself to live in a false existence… I really don’t want this fake sense of security, I really had enough — I can’t stand it any more!

   Right at that instance… I really don’t understand what is love…

4. …心中的颤动又化回原本的温暖，慢慢在心中化开来…

   …The beating of my heart transforms back to its original warmth, slowly dissolving in my heart…