This has happened again, and I really don’t want to repeat the whole cycle that I have gone through with Choon Hui again:
What should I do if a friend (more specifically, Sze Hau) suddenly seem to act differently, as seem to keep a further distance with me?
Obviously I can’t be sure about what other thinks except for myself, and it’s not a right time for me to ask him about it as he’s not feeling well today. But here’s what I know (and it MIGHT be wrong, considering that my information can be distorted by many factors):
About myself:- Probably after I have decided to take another step forward, my own mental perception of him has changed: which my desires and expectation was raised over a higher bar than what this friendly relationship can actually reach.
About Sze Hau:- From experience, the time when I get the cold shoulders is when someone bad mouthed me, or knew/guessed about my sexuality and they cannot accept it (at least initially). But as said, whether this is true or not can only be known when I’m able to find a good time to ask him, and provided that he is willing to tell me about it.
But I’m NOT surprise that he would guess the latter case, considering that I DID made a few subtle advances to “test the waters”.
Either way, I’m just feeling slightly disappointed now. Although I’m prepared to take the responsibility of the outcome, good or bad, just that I’m still feeling as if I’m hanged upside down in the air. (Reminds me of The Hanged Man tarot card)