Taking A Different Turn

These few week has been hard for myself: not because of others but because of myself. Getting over with my attachment to my past feelings isn’t as simple as I thought: Everytime I thought I gotten myself over with it, my feelings just strikes backs, telling me “OH NO YOU DON’T!”. My attempt to stick “label” with regards my relationship to these very people (say… from love to friends) is almost close to impossible as it’s only a form to cheat myself and covering things up.

Only I notice that facing my real feelings is one of the hardest challenge that I have faced so far… Only I notice that my “love” seems to me like a possessive nature… which isn’t actually love after all. Only I notice that I have cheated myself by saying I’m OK of being alone, but in actual fact is that I’m really afraid of being alone and helpless.

…And I have a probable thought that probably I will never get over this after all… But I do know that I’ll search for my answers along the way. (And probably I’ll still remain single for a long time :p)

In other news, I have made some decisions, not really major ones, but it’s enough to steer my own life to another direction. Probably the one that is obvious and be of most interest to some of my PPStage friends is that I pulled myself out from my “leadership position” MYPPF. Well… not really a “leader” from my point of view, but still I was one of the founders. This is mainly due to the fact that me and Tommy have different opinions in managing and promoting parapara, that I believe it’s best for me to take this decision.

So, in a way, there’ll be no MYPPF choreos anymore, but I’ll still be choreographing, but under another name that I will not disclose at the moment :).

Well… I am taking some subtle turns in life as well, from the outset nothing changed, but my perspective is slightly different now.

These aside, I’m thinking of taking up a gym membership :D. I got tempted by the promotional offer that my company is offering, not to mention that they outlets are located very conveniently so that’s double cool :D. (One’s next to my office, another at Midvalley) Probably in a few months’ time, you’ll see me developing muscles? But then again, that image of myself really scares me 😛 (I prefer my slim look at the moment :p)

Tommorrow will be my day out, and I’ll be taking my graduation portrait that I took with my family. Hope it turns out good :D.