Of Commitment (Some Friends-Only P/S)

Just for some safety reason, here’s the short, friends-only part of the entry:

How shall I put it… I just feel that I’m much better off focusing most of my energies on finding a male partner instead of putting myself in a see-saw of my own bisexuality. (Or to some, the “stop-beating-around-the-bush” label means that I’m gay) It’s not really that I’m closing the doors of possibilities for myself to have a girlfriend, but up until now, I’m able to meet a lot of interesting guys but I have yet to notice an outstanding girl who would have glued me down as much as some of the guys I know (I have yet to see a female version of the same standards, or being close to the standards, of Choon Hui, if a comparison is to be made)

These few days really saw me going into some emotional turmoil, as I started to notice that I’m developing feelings for a colleague and friend: Sze Hau. Probably it might be a bad idea… well, you know, having a colleague as a lover, a big risk is there, for one thing. I’m still taking the backbench now, just to access carefully of my own feelings, as well as giving myself some time to understand him better. And besides, I would definitely need some time to do some research…

Now I can only hope for the best… for the benefit of all concerned.