Feeling Better

Felt much better right now. It does seems that there’s a lot of things that I have been supressing in the past in the forms of self control, social conditionings and conjured fantasies (rated M by the ESRB)… and every supressed thoughts came to haunt me back to a point that really scares me: That it is possible for me to become insane and engage in violent behaviour.

Only that I realise that supression is also a human thought of a hidden intention, it’s like a seed planted in our own thinking and eventually it’ll grow and manifests in our own beings. And it will bring its effect later in life. And without notice, I have been caged into the darkness that I have created myself…

This really made me wonder… Is it that my fears aren’t caused by others but created by my own self…?

Learning how to let go and readjust my own thoughts are definitely not easy. Guess I have to constantly remind myself… one step at a time… one step at a time.