Sometimes Some Things Are So Hard To Do

Just all of a sudden, some of my sorrows just came back to me. It’s like… ever since I came back to school, these feelings just came back to me. I believe that I have gotten over that stage, but how wrong I am, as I’m still feeling that aching in my heart. I know I still love him a lot (I think the subject of interest is implied), probably I’m just feeling upset of how he responds to me? It’s like… I was given the cold shoulder: so cold that it really pricks my heart.

At times like this I just feel so helpless… as there are just things which is so hard to do. Apart from the fact that I really find it hard to express how I’m feeling now to him, right now I’m just feeling like just prodding whoever in my online friend’s list or my phone book and just send some random SOS signals, asking for help. But just right when I was thinking of doing so, I just held back… Thoughts just floods my brain “It’s not really a big deal actually… you know that you can handle it yourself… not everybody likes to hear some nitty gritty sob story…”

Am I being strong? Or am I just acting to be strong? At times like this, I just wish that I knew where to find warmth and attention… as immature as it seems.