Today’s Drifting Thoughts: Taking Another Turn In Life

Seh Hui Leong

Reflections

For some reasons… I just felt that something is going to happen yesterday… And so it did.

Yesterday has been an important day for me… well… honestly technically it shouldn’t be yesterday, but days before. But that doesn’t really matter anyway.

… All I can say, Erika have changed a lot during the past week. And it’s not the normal “a lot”, but a drastic “a lot”. It’s like… a total difference from her persona in school, I would say it’s the stronger side of her: confident, assertive, clear minded and… well, strong. And the coolest thing is that, she acquired a British accent! OMG! That’s freaking cool, I wished I had that! 😄 Well… but then again that would translate to the fact that most of my close friends would have to struggle with my English :p.

… But, seriously… Well, I’m not going to cover Erika’s side of the story, since if it were to appear online, it has to be on her journal. As for my side of the story…

If there’s something that would best describe this: I messed it up, BIG TIME! Translation: The decision has been made on Erika’s side, and… I busted, and this love has officially ended after one month. Honestly… Just minutes after I posted up my viewpoint of regarding life (for those who never saw it, I’m sorry for that, because it was a friend-only post :p), I knew that I have made a big mistake: I realise I was a big fool posted that up, it only shows my own selfishness, and that I didn’t made an effort to at least try to see things from Erika’s point of view. And… that emotional act of mine… only shows how childish I were, because when it comes to relationships, it’s not one person decision: It’s takes two to tango.

So that makes me… alone again. It’s kind of sad actually, but at the same time… I’m just happy, because… she found her real happiness, the happiness that no one else is able to give. (When I typed this, it seemed to remind me of Erika herself, well, it does sound like what she once said)

Well, that’s what I have to say on my side. Guess I’m still cursed by extremely short-lived love life, but I suppose it has to be my side of the problem. But all I can say for today is that… just after Erika called me with the news, all of a sudden it seems that I’m becoming more absent-minded than normal: Like leaving my keys on the door lock, leaving the water tap on after using (and only notice it 30 minutes later), forgetting to switch off the hot shower after use, forgetting where I want to go when I’m taking a bus to get home… Guess that has been a really big shock to me :p. And… I think I’m starting to regret all my stupidity… ^^”

But anyway, Erika, all I want to tell you (actually I wanted to tell you on the phone yesterday, but I didn’t get that chance) is that: I’m really proud of you, and… just do whatever is best for you. As much as I had failed you in the past, my promise to you still hold strong in my heart: to be by your side and care for you… no matter what. That’s the best I can do for you now… and the only that I’m able to give you the most.

And…. just to add on, actually I drew this just after I came back from MC when you are sick the other day, and I didn’t dare to show you because… it doesn’t look like you at all, for you have been showing us the more fragile side of you so far… But looking at it now, I guess I would really like to dedicate it to you, as much as it’s a pretty bad piece of art (especially the hair XD) ^^”:

'Erika'

それじゃ!

Written by

Seh Hui Leong

Python programmer by trade, interested in a broad range of creative fields: illustrating, game design, writing, choreography and most recently building physical things. Described by a friend as a modern renaissance man.

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