First Experiences

OK, I’m off from work today. 😸 Currently I’m back at school, typing this.

Currently I’m working at Cybol, one small software house situated in Shah Alam. The company itself is pretty far away from my aunt’s house: 15 minutes on bus, and 30 minutes on foot (total them up would be 45 minutes). But the good thing is that Alfred (my boss) is offering free accomodation over his apartment, which is only a 5 minutes walk to my working place.

So currently I’m staying with Sridha, a programmer from India, who is also my colleague now. He’s pretty much the quiet type, first impression wise. Overall my working experience is pretty much pleasant, the people has treated me quite good.

However, being my first job, of course I wasn’t feeling totally comfortable. Anxiety kicks in, starting to worry whether I’m able to cope with all these responsibilities on the job and my own studies, doubting whether I’m able to live up to my and the company’s expectation… and the hardest feeling to bear: I miss everything… a lot.

I suppose this happens, you know, when you get out from your own comfort zone. In many way this is a good thing: Learning things, gaining new experiences, having a different sort of fun… But then, it just seems that sometimes it’s hard not to feel lost, not knowing what or where will you end up to.

During times like this, you can seemingly hear people saying to you “Be strong! Don’t be afraid! Enjoy the ride! Love what’s life have to offer!”, and yet it seems that what you feel contradicts to everything: The nervousness is there, the fear is there…

But now I’m getting the hang of it :). Kinda reminds me of Chihiro/Zen in Spirited Away: Sometimes, you don’t need to hold those anxiety back, you don’t need to fight them, just acknowledge and move on. They exist just to give you strength to what you need to do.

Well… that’s how I look at it anyway.

Oh yeah, there’s two person I love that I really miss in particular. Just want to let you know that I love you a lot deep down :).

I think I’m going off now, gotta attend my Japanese class later :). Sore ja~ 😊