Poem + Prose: The Second (Yet Undelivered… Again) Letter

Nothing happened today, just study study study study study… You get the idea. The library is much livelier though with a larger gang of friends to study together. 😊 Then… what else, met Rachael and Choon Hui today… And for some reason I feel like I did something really stupid to them both today >.<”, nothing major though.

Ah~ Just random ramblings, I would say :p. Anyway, I wrote this the other day and it is intended to be posted up in our forums, but on second thought, I think I just keep it up here.

第二封（也是交不出去的）信

＊前言＊

[点选歌曲：ayumi hamasaki’s A Song for XX (from A Song for XX)]

暗恋一个人，总是充满不少快乐，遐想与心酸。在一个幻想的国度中，和他在一起的未来永远都是完美甜蜜的。

但是，现实永远都是幻想的放大版。当小小的细节要被顾虑到的时候，往往会觉得现实与幻想会差太多了。就因为如此，难免心中会产生不少酸意。

表白或许是最好的解脱吧！但那还需要蛮大的勇气吧！

当一个人喜欢上另一个有了对象的人，这回事更是难上加难了。用写的或许会比较容易吧！但即使只是短短几句，间中隐藏的含义往往超越了表面上的字迹。

结果还是没勇气把它交出去。信的内容如下：

＊第一（二）封信＊

致____，

已经不是第一次了，
（从开始到现在
总是只能扮演
 眼巴巴看着你的手被人牵的角色）

一直就是讨厌这样
（在完整品根本
连设计锻造还未开始之前
 就被人当瑕疵品般被粉碎）

在戏开演之前就是局外人了。
（而我却还要自己决定
到底要扮演好人或是坏人的角色
 可惜，第三者的角色我实在是演不出来）

然而
（明知道一早撤出
会让自己好过些
 可惜一开始我已经陷得太深了）

只要在远处
（总是不经意地
观察一些和你有关的点点滴滴
 总是希望能为你做些什么，因为…）

看到你幸福
（看到你的笑颜…
听到你那友善的鼓励支持…
 想到你的好…）

那已是很美好的回报了。
（所以，我不在乎
永远只能以朋友的名义交往。
 就保持这样就已经很好了。）

＊后记＊

[点选歌曲：ayumi hamasaki’s ANGEL’S SONG (from Memorial Address)]

写到这里，电脑萤幕在显示着Wai Loon （维伦？）小史的终章。虽然他那么说难免会为他感到可惜，但是我们亦知道一段故事的结束乃是另一段故事的起端。到那个时候，说不定好的结局早已开演，只看有心记载或否。

只愿各位幸福就好。

The Second (Yet Undelivered… Again) Letter

Preface

[Current Music: ayumi hamasaki’s A Song for XX (from A Song for XX)]

To love someone secretively is always full of happiness, imagination and heartaches. In a world of fantasies, the life with him is always flawless and sweet.

But reality is always to extended version of fantasies. When all those tiny details are taken into account, more often than not we’ll feel that reality and fantasy differs too greatly. And because of that, it’s hard not to feel the throbbing heartaches.

Maybe to pour it all out is the best way of escaping from this, but that also needs a lot of courage!

When you like/love someone another person with a partner, this makes the escape route much more harder. Maybe by writing it out would be much more easier! But even it’s only a few sentences, the hidden messages between the lines carries much more meaning than the handwriting we are able to see.

In the end, I’m still unable to send the letter out, with its content written below:

The First (Second) Letter

Dear ____,

This is not the first time,
(Ever since the beginning
I can only play the role
Of the person who can only watch your hands being held by someone else)

And I really hate this where
(Even before the actual product
Haven’t even started to be designed and modeled,
It’s destroyed because it’s considered as a failure)

Even before the show started I’m destined to be the outsider.
(Yet I’m still forced to decide
Whether to be on the good or bad side.
What a pity that I can’t even act as the third party)

But
(As much as I knew that getting out from it as early as possible
Would have made my life much more easier
Yet what a pity that I have been fallen too deep for you)

As long as I can see you from afar,
(I’d still unknowingly
Trying to observe all the small things about you
And hoping that I’m able to give you something, because…)

Seeing you being happy,
(Seeing your smile…
Listening to your friendly words of encouragement…
Thinking about the good things in you…)

That’ll be the best gift you can give me.
(That why I don’t mind
Being able to be with you as a friend forever.
Just maintaining it that way would be enough for me.)

End notes

[Current Music: ayumi hamasaki’s ANGEL’S SONG (from Memorial Address)]

At this time of writing, the monitor is showing the finale of Wai Loon’s love story. Even though we feel for him and sympathize him for what had happened, we also know that the ending of one story will be the beginning of another. Maybe at that time, the good ending has already been started, then it all comes down to whether it’ll be written down or not.

Just hope that everyone will be happy, that’ll be the greatest gift.

The English translation is pretty much rushed, as usual, but I suppose it should do the trick. Ja! Have to go back to the library and study ^^.