Today’s Drifting Thoughts: The Human Relations

Seh Hui Leong

Reflections

Just after my mid-terms today, I just bumped into a few of my friends, Erika, Vico and Su Hu. It’s just fun chatting with them today, and having ourselves joking around about various stuff. Kinda fun when we try to relate our own childhood memories and what nots. Later on Su Hu needs go back while Vico have some chores to do, so it’s only left with me and Erika on the same table.

Later on, we talk quite a lot of friends and stuff, which later on keep me pondering about friendship in general. Well… how should I put it… well, as we live our own life, friends is always something that takes an important role in life. It’s pretty much living with people whom we are comfortable with, and in due course of life, we always share the same experience while we are together. However, at the same time, we might have different views and opinions towards the same events that occur to us, and sometimes, for some reasons, our friends might be starting to keep a distance which is not there before (or the other way round, either intentional or non-intentional). And sometimes, at this point, it’s just like… even as friends, we aren’t able to read their minds, and confusion just leads us more further apart.

Sometimes… I just feel that, you know, when the time is not right, it’s hard for us to approach our distanced friends to get the truth out of things. When Erika tells me stories, I can feel for her in many ways. I really admire her for her happy go lucky kind of lifestyle, frankly speaking, I’m surprised that when she had problems, she didn’t seem to show it out. She did mentioned that the people around her does brighten her day in a gloomy mood. Speaking of which, that remind me of what Ms Nicole told us during our Interpersonal Communication classes “Friends around you will reflect who you are” (or plucking the old line “Birds of the same feathers flocks together”). Perhaps the old saying “What you sow is what you reap” applies?

Sometimes I’m just wondering myself, who were my friends anyway? Sometimes, I just seem like I’m like a butterfly fluttering around various different groups of people. I don’t know whether this is a good thing though, considering that you can’t make real friends by paying short attention to them for a short period of time. Sometimes I just feel a bit… sensitive, when my friends is starting to treat me differently than they used to. I’m starting to feel some sort of distance forming up with some friends… I might be worrying myself too much though.

… Dragging into another topic, I started to notice that I’m not as connected to the Internet that I have used to be. I don’t know why, perhaps there’s nothing new going on on the Internet? Or is it just me starting to have a much more richer and better life now? Or is it just… something else? I don’t really know, to be frank, I only knew that I’m starting to talk to more friends and at the same time getting to know new ones, I’m getting better in communicating with others, and… I’m just content with whatever I have now and I just feel happier for some reasons. And now, I’m starting to feel more like myself, whether it’s online or off.

As much as I wasn’t connected a lot, I still miss my friends online. And the time zone differences and my schedules makes me really hard to talk to them lately. The only resort that I can know what’s happening is through my LJ friends page and perhaps the forums that I participate in. But really, I really miss you guys.

Hmm… anyway, I think I’ll leave it as that for now, considering that my thoughts are starting to break up into tiny fragments that I can’t seem to piece together. I might as well come back to this later.


In other news, the school wireless network is repaired now… just that the I’m still not connected yet >.<” (hope it gets done soon). Today in the morning I and some of my friends was called upon by the Head of Department today and we were there giving feedback about the university itself now. I have no idea why I was called there, but from the list of friends I know, it seems that the students who are opinion leader by some right is selected. Guess I should be flattered by that? Hmm…

Rain still sucks, made some decisions that I’m not completely sure of (basically it’s about a freelance job offered by a not-so-popular course mate in school, and I know some of my friends hated him VERY much. I would say there’s two reasons to it: 1. I wanted to gamble a bit and take some risk, 2. Choon Hui is in it… heh… I’m pathetic 😛 ). And last but not least, I notice that I just got over with the extreme, initial passion towards Choon Hui and I notice that I’m starting to understand him better. For now, I’m just happy that I’m able to be good friends with him and I’m still able to treat him as an intimate friend.

Some friends do notice about this journal, I’ve mixed feelings towards this… partially being nervous. But I just have faith that being truthful to myself and others will pay off, and there’s some secrets that you can’t hold forever. Hope that doesn’t cause Choon Hui to avoid me like plague in case the word did spread around.

[p/s: Oops! Looks like I had myself a long entry today :p.]

Written by

Seh Hui Leong

Python programmer by trade, interested in a broad range of creative fields: illustrating, game design, writing, choreography and most recently building physical things. Described by a friend as a modern renaissance man.

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